


Made Of Glass

by bourbon_banshee



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 11:42:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 30,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bourbon_banshee/pseuds/bourbon_banshee
Summary: "Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you try to run away from your past as for it will eventually find you..."





	1. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, 4th piece of work. Beforehand, I'll warn you, this story will contain references to: domestic abuse, death, violence, rape, sex, anxiety, depression and suicidal tendences. If any of this triggers you, I strongly recommend you NOT to read it. Otherwise, enjoy.  
> Xo.
> 
> Ps: Yes, I just LOVE Holland Roden and I tend to use her to portray some of the characters from my works. In this case, she won't be Lydia Martin. That's all I can tell.

**Hayley's P.O.V**

"Come on, everybody! Get to work! Chop chop!", Alaska clapped her hands, rushing everyone.

"Are you sure I'm the right person for this job, Al?", I asked, frowning.

"Number one, yes. Number two, don't frown!. It'll give you wrinkles!", she replied, as she prepared her camera and gear.

Alaska and I had been friends since high-school, and she was helping me out until I got a proper job. Apparently, having a PhD in Greek Mythology doesn't pay-off these days. Anyway, she needed a model for a photoshoot and I needed the money. I wasn't loaded, but before coming to New York I had saved enough to get my own place. That and... well, some money I kind of inherited from my brother. _'Niklaus...'_ , my mind started wandering around the memory of him but Alaska cut off my thoughts.

"Hayley! Will you please look at the camera?", she asked, sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'm sorry".

"That's great!. You go girl!", she kept saying as she took what felt like a thousand pictures. 

"We're almost over, Hay", she said when her phone started ringing.

She walked away but started shouting right after. "What the hell does that even mean!? You get your ass right here, Kai or I swear to God... Fine!!! YOU ARE FIRED!!!!", she yelled, which made me jumpy.

I had known her for years and her yelling would still make me jumpy. To be honest, every loud noise had that effect on me.

"Great!. Fucking great! I have two major celebrities coming in fifteen minutes and nobody to take their pictures for the magazine!!", she huffed.

"Al, calm down, ok? I have no other plans. Why don't you do that shoot?. Then we can finish this...", I suggested. She looked at me.

"Thanks, Hay. See? This is why I love you!", she replied before starting to move her gear. I walked to a small resting place (if you can call it that) and sat down on a couch.

I felt tired and hadn't had much sleep the previous night. I wish I could say I was partying, but truth was I kept having nightmares. And I just... gave up on getting any sleep by 5.00 am. I closed my eyes for a second and thanked the make-up artists; I did look like a model. Well, kind of. At least nobody could tell I had big dark circles under my eyes, that seemed enough for me. I don't know how long I stayed like this.

"Why don't you two take a seat over there while I finish getting the gear ready?", I heard Alaska but her voice sounded like she was miles away. I still had my eyes closed when I felt someone getting close to where I was sitting.

"I am sorry to disturb you, but, do you mind if we take a seat?", a male voice asked. I opened my eyes widely but didn't look at him.

"Oh, no, I'm... I'm sorry. Please, go ahead", I answered.

"Thank you", he replied. I could tell his accent was British.

Out of curiosity, I looked up and held a gasp within me. Shortly after, another guy came to sit with us. For the second time, I had to help myself from making a single sound. I knew these men!. They starred some Marvel movies. I could easily remember them because I had watched tiny parts of them with Nik. He loved superheroes and stuff. He had tried to explain the whole stories to me, but I wasn't really into it. However, spending time with him was all that mattered back then.  _'Oh Nik...'_ , I thought to myself. He would have jumped and asked for selfies right away.

The English man must have noticed I was staring at them, even though my mind was far away.

"Hello, I am Tom. It's a pleasure", he said, smiling softly and politely.

"Oh, Sebastian, nice to meet you", the other man said and gave me a wide smile.

Of course, I knew who they were, but I tried not to show it.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Hayley", I said.

I looked down to my hands. They were shaking. I tried to calm down for a bit. The memory of Niklaus could be overwhelming and right then, I felt as if I was about to pass out.

"Oh, well, I see you've met my most adorable and perfect model!", Alaska said with a huge smile on her face. I could tell she was even more excited than a teenager.

Let's be honest, both guys were amazingly beautiful. They had different styles. Tom was the kind of man that pops into your head when you think of the word 'gentleman': polite, sweet, charming; Sebastian, on the other hand, was fresh, a bit of a dork, but still adorable.

"We have, indeed", Sebastian replied with a grin. I blushed and looked down.

"Ok, guys, we're ready for you. Please, if you join me...", Alaska said as she gestured with her hand. She winked at me as she walked away.

I laughed softly. Their shoot didn't last too long, at least not compared to mine. But, then again, I had to change my clothes every 5 photos.  _'Good God, they are really handsome...'_ , I said to myself.

"Ray? Why don't you take a few more shots of Hayley while I finish up here?", Alaska asked. Ray had been working with her for some time now. He was a good photographer (though nobody could beat Alaska) and a fun guy to be around.

"Come on, princess. Let's get you dressed...", he said, directing me into the dressing room.

"Okay...", I sighed, getting up from the couch.

*

"Girl, the camera loves you!", Ray claimed.

I had no clue how on Earth I was even able to pull off those poses. I felt like I wasn't myself. As if some charismatic woman had taken over me. Or maybe it was me, the old me. The one that had ran away from everyone and everything.

**Tom's P.O.V**

We were already finished, but I couldn't help to look over to the opposite side of the studio. Hayley's strawberry blonde hair was waiving in the air and if looks could kill, her hazel eyes would have murdered us all. There was this strange halo around her, a glow hardly ever seen.

"She's the definition of true beauty, huh?", Sebastian's voice cut me off from my thoughts.

"She certainly is", I replied.

"You know? I think the first thing that caught my eye about her was that she wasn't even aware of who we are. To her, we are ordinary and for a change, it feels good...", he stated.

I knew exactly what he meant. It is amazing to have such loving and caring fans all over the globe, but being treated as a mere mortal feels nice too. There is usually a lot of pressure on us and expectations that we feel compelled to fulfill.

"Oh! Before I forget! We'll be hosting a small party this weekend. It's a casual thing. You are absolutely welcome. It'd be really nice to have you both here", the photographer said as she looked at us. I wondered if she had heard us.

"Sure, we'll be here, right Tom?", Sebastian replied before I could even open my mouth. I simply nodded with a soft smile.

"Great!!. I'll send the address to your managers!", she said cheerfully.

All I could think of was if Hayley would be there as well.


	2. Chapter 02

**Hayley's P.O.V**

_'Another sleepless night'_. I sighed as I rolled over in my bed. It was nearly 04.30 a.m. I couldn't shake off any of my feelings or thoughts. Alaska's party was taking place the next day and, for once, I wanted to look a little better than a zombie.

I decided to take two sleeping pills; I mean, I'd usually avoid them, but I  ** _really_**  needed to get some rest. I walked to the bathroom and looked at the pills in my hand.  _'Here goes nothing'_ , I thought as I swallowed them along with some water. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, and shook my head before heading back to bed.

It wasn't always like this.  ** _I_** hadn't always been likes this. I used to be happy, funny; an extrovert. I was the kind of girl who would do crazy things because I wanted to create memories. But, as I grew older, that joy was taken away from me.

It didn't take long for the pills to kick in and sooner than I would've expected, I had fallen asleep.

*

I woke up to the sound of my door being slammed. I blinked a few times before I could pull myself together and out of bed.

"Hayley! For God's sake...!", I could hear Alaska yelling from the other side. By the time I opened the door, I couldn't tell if she was angry or worried.

"What the hell, Hay!?", she asked as she came inside, carrying lots of bags.

"Don't yell at me. I just woke up...", I replied and sat down on the kitchen's counter as I rubbed my eyes.

"About damn time, homie!. The party starts in three hours and as much as I love you, I can't let you show up in your pj's...", she claimed.

"What??. What times is it!?", I asked in shock.

"5 o' clock...".

"Oh shit...", I whispered. I had been asleep for almost twelve hours.

"I figured you were either asleep or dead. And I forgot my key, so my last option was to slam your door. I called you about fifteen times, Hay. What happened?".

"I couldn't sleep, so I took two pills...", I shrugged.

"Still having nightmares?", she asked with true concern.

"No...", I lied. Technically, you can't have nightmares if you don't sleep. "Just insomnia. I'll be fine...".

"You know you can talk to me, right?".

"I know Al. Thanks", I replied with a soft smile.

"Ok. Now, you go get your ass to the bathroom. Take a shower. I'll make some coffee and we'll get ready", she commanded.

"Fine...", I sighed.

The shower and the coffee did their job at keeping me fully awake.

I looked at myself in the mirror and, for once, I wanted to look pretty again. As the party was casual, I decided not to go overboard with my hair or make up. I was content with the outcome.

"Someone is looking very pretty tonight. I wonder why is that...", Alaska said in a playful voice.

"I want to look nice for myself, can't I just do that?".

"Sure. So... this has nothing to do with two A-level celebs coming over, right?".

I raised an eyebrow at her, not understanding what she was talking about.

"Oh. My. God!. Didn't I tell you!?", she almost yelled as she stopped at a red light.

"Tell me what?".

"Sebastian Stan and Tom Hiddleston will be there. You know, those two hotties who...".

I cut her off.

"I know who they are, I don't live under a rock. But why are they even going?. I thought this was a lowkey thing...", I said, now feeling a bit nervous.

"I invited them and they just agreed...", she replied with a smile.

"Oh...", I simply said. I remembered how beautiful they were and I could almost feel my cheeks burning.

"Oh?. Is that all you're gonna say?".

"What do you want me to say!?", I asked while putting my hands up in the air.

"Well... I'm not sure BUT they were definitely checking you out after their shoot was done. And I could swear I heard them saying that you, my friend, are the definition of  **true beauty**.", Alaska emphasized those last words.

"Yeah, well... They probably say that about a lot of women, besides, it's not like I'm remarkably beautiful or anything", I replied in disbelief.

"Hay...", she said softly as she parked her car in front of the small venue she had rented for the party. I avoided her look.

"Hayley... It's been a long time since... you know. He can't hurt you. He doesn't even know where you are. For all he knows, you are in Haiti, working for a non-profit medical aid foundation. New York is the last place he'd ever think of...", Alaska said quietly, as she held my hand.

"I know...", I replied, holding back the tears.

"You deserve to be happy. Allow yourself to enjoy this. At least, do that tonight. For me?", she asked.

"Okay... For you", I replied and gave her a small smile.

While we walked to the venue, I said to myself  _'And for you, Nik...'_ , as I thought of my beloved brother.


	3. Chapter 03

**Tom's P.O.V**

"For a 'casual' party, this place is pretty crowded", I stated.

"Yeah... I can't even see the photographer. Or her friend", Sebastian said as he was holding a bottle of beer.

He was right. Nor Alaska or Hayley were in sight, and the increasing amount of people was certainly not helping either. I was about to give up when I finally spotted her. It was hard not to notice her strawberry blonde hair amongst the crowd.

"Look!. They are here!", Sebastian pointed out.

Before I could even do something, he was dragging me to them along with him.

"Ladies...", he said in a cheerful voice. Both of them turned around.

"Hi!! You made it!", Alaska said and hugged us both as if we had been friends for a long time.

"We wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world", I said and gave them a soft smile.

"I'm sure you remember Hayley", Alaska said and winked at us. Hayley whispered "Hi...", in a very low voice.

"Of course. There's no way we could forget such a lovely face".

_'Dammit Sebastian'_ , I thought to myself. He is a ray of sunshine, but when he meets a woman he likes, he acts like a 12-year-old. Not that I don't do it myself too, I just... hide it a little better than him.

"Oh, thank you...", Hayley replied as she blushed.

"Tom!. You are not drinking!!", Alaska stated. By then, I could tell she was slightly drunk.

"I am fine, but I will gladly have a drink later", I replied.

"Hay!. Neither are you!!", Alaska frowned at her. "You said you would all...", Hayley cut her off.

"I know what I said, Al. I'll go get myself a drink now, if you excuse me", she said, glancing at her friend and walking to the bar.

"I think I'll join her", I found myself saying, and following her steps before I could lose track of her.

 _'What on Earth!?'_ , I thought to myself. I am never this impulsive, but for some reason, I felt the urge to follow her.

Hayley was sitting on a stool at the bar, holding a glass of Jameson on the rocks, which also happens to be my favorite drink. She hadn't notice my presence and seemed lost in her thoughts; I cleared out my throat before saying "Good choice". She looked at me and I pointed to her glass.

"Oh... Yes. I... decided to try something different instead of beer, for a change", she replied calmly.

"Well, I believe you have good judgement".

"I don't. Trust me", she said and half-chuckled.

"Do you mind if I join you?", I asked.

"Be my guest", she replied and I saw a small smile on her lips.

"So, Alaska mentioned you have been friends for a long time...", I said, waiting for this topic to lead us into a conversation.

"Yes. We've known each other since high-school. The connection was immediate. We've come a long way from where we began".

"Were you born here?", I asked, trying to see if I could find an accent on her voice.

"No. We are from Canada. After high-school, we applied for the same college. Al got a degree in Arts & Photography, and I got mine in Mythological Studies. Shortly after, she got a job here and I...", she made a pause, as if she was picking her words, "I decided to stay a bit longer in Canada, until I got my PhD in Greek Mythology", she explained.

"Wow!. That sounds fascinating!", I said in all honesty.

"It is, though the job itself doesn't pay-off...", she sighed.

"So, you work as a model instead?".

"Yeah... It helps to pay the bills, but I'd love to work at what I love for a living. Anyway, Al offered me a job as an assistant. I might as well take it...", she frowned. "See?. My judgement was poor when I chose my Major at College. Maybe I should've been a lawyer or a doctor...".

"You chose what your heart was longing for. Do not ever regret that", I said. She looked at me and smiled softly.

"Besides, it's not very likely to meet someone with a PhD in Greek Mythology. It makes you rare. Unique", I remarked.

"I guess it does. So, what makes  **you**  unique, Tom?", she asked.

"I'm not entirely sure. Maybe my passion for Shakespeare...", I replied as I thought deeply of her question.

"How so?", Hayley wondered.

"I can quote many of his plays by heart. His whole work is just... incredible".

"Would you quote something for me?. Anything at all. Please?", she asked. I looked to her hazel eyes and I couldn't say no.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love", I quoted. "That's from...", I started but she finished the sentence for me.

"Hamlet...", her eyes were now teary.

"Hayley, are you okay?".

"Yes, I... I need some air. Excuse me", she said as she stood up. Her knees were shaking and I grabbed her by the waist to prevent her from falling.

"Here. Let me walk you outside", I offered. She simply nodded.

We walked to a small garden outside the venue, and sat down on a wooden bench.

"Are you sure you are okay?", I asked. I did not want to seem pushy or nosy, I was truly concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. It was probably the alcohol. It was pretty strong...", she said. I could tell the drink wasn't the only reason behind her expression. There was more to the story, but I was not going to ask her about it.

"By the way, it was beautiful...", she sighed, looking at the floor.

"I... what?", I wondered, as she caught me by surprise.

"The way you quoted 'Hamlet'. It was beautiful".

"Thank you", I replied.

"It reminded me of someone I loved. He would have liked you", she said and now her voice was cracking.

I was about to wrap my arm around her back, but we got cut off.

"Hayley?. I think Al is way too drunk for her own sake...", a man called her out.

Hayley looked at me and mouthed  _'Sorry'_ , before rushing into the hall. I just followed her.

Indeed, Alaska was extremely drunk, dancing on top of a table and about to take her top off.

"Al, come on. We should go home...", Hayley said.

"Nooo!!!. Come here. Let's dance like we used to!!!", Alaska pouted.

"We will... On another occasion, when you aren't hammered", she said. After insisting for a bit, Alaska finally got off the table.

"Let's get yourselves a cab", I offered.

"She was supposed to be my ride...", Hayley sighed.

"I see... Well, let me find Sebastian. We'll drive you to your place or hers, whichever is closer. And then, we will take a cab from there", I said and looked around for Sebastian "It seems Sebastian isn't doing much better than Alaska...", I sighed. Hayley looked at him and then at me.

"Okay...", she nodded.

We had to drag over our friends to Alaska's car. They sat on the back and Hayley took the passenger's seat. She was giving me instructions for me to get to her place, while Sebastian and Alaska were laughing in the back seats.

"I... like... her", Sebastian said drunkenly.

"Yes. Alaska is really pretty", I said.

"No. I like  **her** ", he repeated and poked Hayley's arm, who was now blushing so much it was almost adorable.

"And who doesn't?. Even, I like her!", Alaska laughed.

Everyone went silent for a second before Alaska spoke.

"What?. She didn't tell you I'm bi-curious?".

"Oh God...", Hayley whispered and covered her face. "Al, just shhh...".

We arrived at Hayley's place shortly after. The neighborhood seemed quiet. We both got out of the car.

"I should leave her inside the car...", Hayley said. Both Alaska and Sebastian were almost knocked out.

"Considering the hangover she will have, I suggest you show some mercy on her", I said.

"You are probably right", she replied and opened the back door of the car, as she tried to get her friend out of it. I did the same with Sebastian, who is a lot bigger than he seems.

"This isn't how I pictured the night would end, but... I really enjoyed talking to you...", she said.

"So did I...", I replied.

We stared at each other for a moment.

"Hayley?. Would it be too inappropriate of me to call you sometime?".

"No. Not at all. I'd give you my number but my hands are full, and so are yours...", she said and we both laughed at the image of ourselves carrying our friends.

"I'll ask Alaska for your number", I replied.

"Okay. Just... try not to call her before 5 p.m. She'll be hungover and moody".

"Duly noted. Goodnight Hayley".

"Goodnight Tom".

And with that, she walked into the building, her lovely hair being the last thing I saw.


	4. Chapter 04

**Hayley's P.O.V**

Alaska woke up around 2 p.m. She was in a better mood than I had expected.

I had been up for hours now, doing some research online on Irish folklore. I know, it sounds super boring but it kept me from thinking about anything else.

I could hear my friend mumbling on her phone from my room. She practically came running to me and yelling.

"You little shit! How come you didn't tell me Tom had asked you out!?", she asked.

"Because number one, you were really drunk. And number two, he didn't ask me out. He just asked if he could call me sometime", I replied, my eyes still looking at my laptop's screen.

Alaska took the computer from me.

"Hey!!", I protested "Give me that back!".

"No. No more researching. Not until you tell me what happened last night between you two", she said.

I snorted.

"Fine...".

"Spill the beans, Hay...".

"We just talked about our friendship", I said, pointing at her and me "And about my career. He also talked about Shakespeare and quoted something for me", I looked down. Alaska knew this couldn't be good.

"Oh Hay... Don't tell me he quoted...", she didn't even finish the sentence but I nodded.

"Yeah, he did. It was so beautiful I almost broke down in tears", I said in a low voice.

Alaska put my laptop on the desk before hugging me.

"Hay... None of it was your fault, you know that. Shitty things happen to the most amazing people. He loved you. He would have wanted you to move on...".

"I just... miss him so much...", I said in a whisper.

"We all do...".

We stayed like that for a moment before I sighed.

"And, as we both know, he would have wanted you to get your ass out of this apartment for once. Besides, Tom's manager asked me for your number, so, he'll be calling any minute now", she said, trying to cheer me up.

"Yeah... you are right...", I replied and wiped a small tear from my eyes.

My phone started ringing and Alaska started clapping her hands and jumping up and down like a child. I didn't recognize the number, but I took a deep breath before taking the call.

"Hello?", I asked.

"Hayley?. It's Tom...".

"Oh, hi!. How are you?".

"I am fine, how are you?. I assume Alaska's hangover is better by now, since she gave your number to my manager...", he said in a playful voice.

"I'm good and yes, she's fully awake now", I replied as I looked at Alaska who was doing some sort of 'victory dance'.

"So, I have been wondering... Would you like to go for a walk? With me", he asked. I could feel a bit of nervousness in his voice.

"Uhm... sure. I'd like that. Tell me when and where", I said. Confidence had taken over me, for a second or two.

"Is today too soon?".

I gave it a thought. It was Saturday, after all and I had no plans other than to watch Netflix at home and eat a whole tube of ice-cream. So, why not?.

"No, it sounds great. Say about 6 pm?", I asked. That would give me about three hours, maybe a little less.

"Perfect!. Shall we meet at Alaska's studio?".

"Yeah! Sounds good!", I replied.

"Alright then. I'll see you at 6", he said.

"See you at 6, Tom".

I hadn't even finished the call when Alaska was dragging me to my room to pick an outfit.

"Ok, let's see...", she said as she started looking through my wardrobe.

"Al... don't go overboard. Please. It's a walk, maybe some coffee. Not a ball at the MET", I sighed.

"How about this?", she said showing me a dress I hadn't worn in a while, and a leather jacket. I almost squealed at the sight of the jacket. Nik had given it to me.

I closed my eyes and I could see him, telling me  _'Sis, you only get one life. Live it to the fullest...'_.

He was right. He was always right.

"Earth to Hayley...", Alaska cut me off my thoughts.

"Yeah. That looks pretty good...", I replied and gave her a wide smile.

After doing my hair and make up, Alaska looked at me as if I was a masterpiece.

"You, my beloved friend, look stunning!. Now, go get that guy!".

"Al!!".

"Fine... Go get coffee with that gentle guy. Is that better?".

"Yeah...", I said and we both giggled.

*

I hadn't been out for coffee with a guy in quite some time. Let's just say that dating or even getting close to any man at all wasn't in my plans.

It was 5.45 and I could already see Tom waiting for me.  _'My God! He's really tall...'_ , I thought to myself. I hadn't seen the difference earlier, as I was wearing extremely high heels both at the photoshoot and the party. Now I was wearing heels, but they were not even close to the ones Alaska insisted on making me wear previously.

"Tom...", I said softly.

He turned to me and gave me a soft smile.

"Hayley. It is really nice to see you again. If I may, you look lovely this evening", he said and I blushed straight away.

"Thank you...". I didn't know what else to say. Times like those were the ones that made me wanted to be like Alaska, carefree, charming, charismatic. **Like I used to be.**

"So, where would you like to go?", Tom asked.

"I haven't thought about it. We could walk and go for some coffee, if you want", I offered.

"Sounds perfect", he replied.

We walked for about an hour, making small talk out of the weather and such. The sun was setting down. I had always loved the sky and all its glory during those moments. Tom must have noticed I was staring at the landscape.

"Maybe we should take a sit on a bench, so we can have a better look...", he suggested.

I simply nodded. We sat and watched the sunset until we were surrounded by darkness and the dim light of the streetlights.

"I could watch the sunset every day for the rest of my life and I do not think I would ever get tired of it...", he said.

"Yeah... It's just so... beautiful. Both the sunset and the night skies hold so many feelings and emotions", I agreed.

"Hayley, may I ask you a question?. And please, if you feel offended, you do not have to answer", he said. I nodded, silently, as I had a feeling about what he was going to say.

"Last night, you seemed really affected after I quoted 'Hamlet'. You said it reminded you of someone you loved. Did I hurt you by quoting it?", he asked. His eyes were filled in with concern.

_'Oh God... I almost had a breakdown and he thinks it was because of his quote. This man is either a Saint or I'm plain stupid'._

I swallowed before taking a deep breath.

"No, Tom. You didn't hurt me at all. I wanted to tell you but then, Ray came in and we never finished the conversation. It reminded me of my brother, Niklaus", I said, trying to remain quiet.

"Oh, I see. Is he a 'Hamlet' lover as well?".

"He was a bookworm. On my 21st birthday, he gave me a really old edition of Hamlet as a present. God only knows how long he must have searched for it or how much he paid for that book. He said I would enjoy it when I was old enough to understand it...", I made a pause. Though it had been years, it was never easy to talk about Nik. "Niklaus passed away three years ago. He had a heart condition. My parents tried everything and anything but, they were too late. By the time Nik got his diagnosis, there wasn't much left to do".

"Oh, Hayley. I am so very sorry for your loss...", Tom said in a sad voice.

"He would have really liked you. In fact, it was because of him that I knew who you were when you went by Al's studio. I saw some Marvel films with him not too long before he...", I stopped talking. Saying those words made my heart ache. "He was just two years older than me, but deep in his heart, he was still a kid sometimes".

"I cannot even imagine how painful this must have been for you".

"It was. And still is. He was... He was right about so many things... I wish I had listened to him, but I didn't. I thought he was being overprotective but he was only trying to tell me the truth...", I started sobbing. "And I miss him, Tom. I miss him so much... The memory of him keeps me going but sometimes, I wish this was nothing but a bad dream. I wish I could wake up and see him again. But I can't. And I just...I think... The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them."

Tom put his arm around my shoulders.

"I am really sorry, Hayley. I should not have asked...", he apologized.

"No. It's okay... It's not like I can avoid the topic forever. He is... gone, and I have to accept it".

"As long as you remember him, he will never be gone. He will always live in your heart...".

"Thanks...", I sobbed. After a few minutes, I stopped sobbing and tried to relax. "So, what about you?. I mean, do you have any siblings?".

"I do. Two sisters. Sarah, who is five years older than me and works as a journalist. And Emma, who is fifteen months younger than me and is also an actress", he made a pause, clearly realizing I wasn't in the mood to talk much. "My parents got divorced when I was twelve, so I believe that it made me more compassionate in my understanding of human frailty. My father is a physical chemist while my mother is a former stage manager and arts administrator. I can't say dad was impressed when I told him I wanted to be an actor, but my mother encouraged me to do it. She is a strong woman. I believe all women are strong and I like to think of myself as a feminist. I attended Eton and later on I went to Cambridge, where I graduated".

"Wow, that's impressive!", I said, both shocked and amused.

"I am a regular guy...", he shrugged.

"Really?. Ok. How many languages do you speak?. Honestly", I asked, feeling a bit better.

"Well... Besides of English?. French, Spanish, Italian, Latin and Greek".

"You are impressive", I stated.

"I am not. Really. I enjoy simple things, like going for a jog early in the morning. I love Bon Iver and dark chocolate mousse. I also like avocado and chicken in my sandwiches. I think there is nothing a cup of Earl Grey with a splash of milk cannot fix. I like singing and dancing, even if I look like a goof. And I'm terrified of sharks. I love swimming in the sea and don't think about sharks until I'm the furthest person out from the shoreline and then the John Williams 'Jaws' theme starts in my head. I can also get easily distracted sometimes", he said and smiled widely at me.

"Any guilty pleasures?", I asked.

"I don't think pleasures are meant to be considered as guilty. But, in any case, mine probably is really cheesy 90's dance music. And an Armani jacket I've owned for some time now", he giggled. "What about your guilty pleasures?".

"I... Hmmm... Well, I haven't done it in a long time but, whenever I had a great day, I would go back home and dance around the house. I was mostly drunk all of those times. As in Alaska's kind of drunk, if you know what I mean", I laughed.

"Why did you stop doing it?".

"I stopped having reasons to do it... Nik passed away and then, pretty much everything went downhill back at my parents' place. They both have this weird way of coping with loss. They mourned for a while, and then they just... went numb. They decided to concentrate on their jobs. Both of them are lawyers and they would come home late. We stopped having dinner together. I hardly ever saw them, and when I got into College, I moved into a small apartment with Al. She's been my family ever since. I haven't seen my parents in two years... and we only talk on the phone on rare occasions, like my birthday, or theirs", I said.

Tom went silent again.

"You know what? I think there is something that might cheer you up...", he said.

"Huh?", I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Food. I would have said tea, but it is a little late", he smiled softly.

"Are you cooking?", I asked.

"Not this time. But if you give me the chance, I will do it, someday", he offered.

"Okay, then, where shall we go?".

"I happen to know a small, quiet place. Would you be so kind to follow me?", he asked and offered his hand to me as I stood up.

*

"This is probably the best sandwich I've ever had!", I said. In all honesty, it wasn't a fancy meal or even a fancy restaurant but the food was delicious. Tom was being honest when he said he liked simple things.

"I told you...", he smiled at me.

It was only then that I looked to his baby blue eyes. They seemed as deep as the ocean itself. You could easily get lost in them.

"So, I have a question. You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable with it...", I warned him.

"Come on. I don't think your question can be any more embarrassing than the ones I have already answered", he said.

"You are an impressive man. Intelligent, caring, talented, funny. How on Earth are you still single?", I asked.

 _'Shit!. What did I just say!?. Shit!. I knew having beer wasn't a good idea'_. I cursed myself. It doesn't always work like this, but sometimes, when I drink beer my tongue gets loose and I just... I say the first thing that pops into my head.

Tom smiled softly at me before speaking.

"When I fall in love with someone, that doesn't 'just' happen... When I love someone's character, over time I'll see that personality shining through their eyes, turning them in the most beautiful girl in the world. It's not about appearance, it's about someone's beautiful, amazing, wonderful, fantastic personality, you'll see every time you look at her. It's about the fact that when you look in her eyes, you just feel home. You forget all your problems, all your fears, you just feel safe, you feel like you've finally found a place where you belong. A place you can spend an eternity, where you will spend an eternity, because those enchanting, beautiful eyes will slow down time and make every second last more than a lifetime. It's about the fact that the whole world, the whole universe just looks so much more beautiful. All of sudden, everything looks different and your heart will just start smiling. That's what love is all about: the moment you realize how blind you've been all those days, how you were living in a fake universe, never knowing that the only thing your life is all about, the only thing that keeps you smiling, was all the time right next to you", he replied.

I looked at him in awe and I could feel my eyes teary.

"Hayley...?", he asked.

"That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard", I replied. "I'm sorry, I... I'm an emotional person and things like these. Words like the ones you just said... they make me believe", I said.

"Believe?".

"In love and in people, as well...", I sighed.

"I understand. Now, how come you are not in a relationship yourself?", he asked as he took another bite of his sandwich.

I could feel blood pumping into my ears, as if I was about to faint. Both Niklaus and love are topics I tend to avoid at all costs, for the same reason. They hurt like hell.

"I haven't had the time nor the interest to meet someone, I guess", I lied.

"It's rather surprising. You are one in a million...", he said.

"I'm not, and besides... remember: my judgement isn't as good as it should be", I stated.

He looked at me but didn't say a word. He seemed to have a 6th sense about when to talk and when to remain silent.

We finished our meals and kept talking about Greek history. The diner was about to close when we walked out of it.

"I will walk you home, if you allow me to", he offered.

"Sure...".

We weren't that far from my place.

"Well, here we are...", I said.

"I had a lovely time, Hayley. I know this may sound awkward, but talking to you makes me feel...", he paused himself, trying to find the words "I feel as if I had known you for a long time. Does that make any sense at all?".

"It does... I had a great time too, Tom", I replied softly.

"Would it be too weird if I called you to see you again?".

"No. I'd like that...", I found myself saying. _'What the fuck Hayley!?'_. I hardly ever act like this. I don't open up. Specially not to a celeb or guy I just met.

"Then, I guess I will call you soon".

"Please, do...", I whispered.

Before he could reply, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He seemed surprised (pretty much like I was, considering I never do that!).

"Goodnight, Tom", I said softly.

"Goodnight, Hayley".

He waited until I was inside the building.

I laid down in bed and closed my eyes. _'I can't afford to fall for this guy'_ , I said to myself and all the confidence and joy from the previous hours banished as I remembered what had happened the last time I had fallen in love.


	5. Chapter 05

**Tom's P.O.V**

It was really early, but I couldn't sleep. I needed to do something, anything. I decided to go for a jog. That usually helps me to ease my mind. But even as I ran, my head was full with memories of the previous night.

I would have never imagined Hayley had been through so much pain after losing her brother. It seemed life had not been easy on her. Her brother died, her parents did not seem to care much about her, she couldn't get a job at what she loved... She had Alaska and she had made it clear that they were more like sisters than best friends, but still... I felt my heart aching for her. I wondered how or who she was before any of that happened, and if there was anything at all I could do to bring back some happiness into her life.

Then, it hit me. There was something I could do for her. I had to try.

**Alaska's P.O.V**

My phone started ringing. I groaned before I could grab it from the night table.  _'Who the fuck calls at 8 am on a Sunday?'._  I could barely see the number.

"Hello?", my voice sounded raspy.

"Alaska?. It's Tom", a male voice said on the other side.

"Tom who?", I asked, still sleepy.

"Hiddleston...", he whispered.

My eyes opened widely at his response. I was now fully awake.

"Oh, shit! Sorry Tom, I was a bit sleepy. How can I help you? Is Hayley ok?", I asked immediately and regretted it right after. I made us look like teenage girls who talked about their dates. Which we were. Except for being teenagers.

"Is she?. I have not spoken to her since last night. I walked her home and made sure she got in safely", he replied. I could feel the concern in his voice.

"She is probably sleeping, don't worry. She told me you guys were going for a walk. How did that go?", I asked. Yes, I am shameless and nosy, but Hayley is like a sister to me and I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. Not again.

"It was a marvelous evening, if I may be honest. That is part of the reason why I am calling you".

"You'll have to be a little more specific, Tom...", I said.

"You'll see. She told me that she used to dance around her house whenever she was happy but ever since her brother died she felt she no longer had reasons to do that anymore...".

"So she told you about Niklaus...", I said slowly.

"She did. We talked about him for quite some time".

"That's strange... I mean, Hayley usually avoids talking about him. It's been three years since his death but, in her heart, the wound is still fresh. It hasn't healed and I'm not even sure it ever will", I made a pause. Tom had known Hayley for just about a few days but he seemed worried about her. There were obviously things I wasn't going to tell him about, because they were not mine to tell and because it'd only cause Hayley to suffer even more. "If she opened up and decided to tell you about it, it's probably because she sees something in you. You somehow managed to earn her trust in less than a week, which is extremely weird, even for Hay".

"Alaska... How was she like before she lost her brother?", he asked.

"What do you mean?".

"She spoke as if she was someone different before her brother's death. I just... I need you to help me. I need you to tell me how was she like. And what things she enjoyed".

"Hayley will kill me if she ever finds out about this and then I will kill you, but, as you seem so worried... I'll tell you. Hay was a firework. She was chatty, charismatic, kind, hilarious. She was the kind of girl everybody wanted to befriend. I remember we would have sleepovers and dance offs. She would shine. You could see her inner glow miles away. Did she tell you she was Prom Queen?".

As I was talking, I started having flashbacks of Hayley and I at high-school. She was so happy and cheerful.

And then... everything was taken away from her, leaving a void in her soul. A void that would sometimes reflect in her eyes.

"No, she didn't mention that...", he said.

"Well, she was. And this isn't her bff talking, this is her former classmate talking: she was outstanding, Tom. I had never seen anyone wearing a crown like that. It looked like it had been made just for her. You wanna know why people voted for her as Prom Queen?. It wasn't because she was, and still is, beautiful. It was because she has always been a warm-hearted person. She is pure, Tom. Sure, she could drink as a sailor and she'd dance on top of tables at the local pubs, but she has always been pure. And to think that some people took advantage of that... it makes me want to smash everything around me. Now, tell me, why on Earth would you want to know that?. Why didn't you ask her yourself?".

"I don't believe she would have told me any of this, but you did. And I needed to know it because I want her to smile again. I want her to be the woman who would shine. I want her to get her inner glow back...".

"You like her, don't you?", I asked. There was no other explanation. Either he really liked her or he was Gandhi's reincarnation.

"I like what she has shown me so far. I like her honesty, and the way her eyes look when she stares at the sky. I like how she was able to trust me, even without knowing me so well. I like the fact that she chose a rare major at College just because she was passionate about it", he replied.

"I'll help you, but if you ever mention this conversation... I will rip your head off...", I warned him.

"I will not do such thing...".

"Good. Now, get a pen and paper. There's a lot you'll need to write down".


	6. Chapter 06

**Hayley's P.O.V**

On Sunday morning, I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at the time. It was past noon. I had cried myself to sleep, so my face was covered in mascara and my hair was clearly a mess.

The phone was still ringing. I looked at it. It was Tom.

"Tom, hi...", I said trying to hide the fact that I had a sore throat.

"Good afternoon, Hayley. I hope I'm not interrupting you...", he said.

"No, not at all... Is there anything I can do for you?", I asked.

"Actually, there is. There is something I would like to show you and I could use your knowledge", he stated.

_'My knowledge?. This man is the most well educated person I've ever met and he needs me?'._

"Uhm... okay. What is it?", I wondered.

"I rather to show it to you in person. Can I pick you up at 5.20?", he asked.

"Yeah, sure...", I agreed.

"Great!. I will see you then...", he said and ended the call.

I stayed in silence, staring at my phone. There was something weird about this. I decided to call Alaska, but my call went straight into her voicemail.

_"Hey, it's Alaska!. I can't answer the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you a.s.a.p!"._

_'Fuck... She never turns her phone off... Oh well, it seems I'm on my own today...'_ , I thought as I struggled to get out of bed and into the shower.

After applying a considerable amount of concealer, I managed to hide my red puffy eyes. I went for a natural look. Or, as natural as I could, all things considered.

At 5.16 I received a text message.

_'Wow. He has a degree in arriving sooner than expected'_. I actually liked that. I think being on time shows respect towards the other person.

I was certainly not expecting him to be driving a car, but I said nothing.

"Hey...", I smiled softly.

"Hey yourself. Shall we?", he asked in a cheerful voice as he opened the car's door for me.

"Sure...", I replied.

"Do you mind if I turn the radio on?", he wondered. I shook my head. As long as he didn't like Metallica, then it was fine by me.

I was expecting 'Bon Iver' to play, as Tom had said he was a huge fan, but instead, 'Monsters' by Ruelle started playing. I loved Ruelle. Saying I was surprised would be an understatement.

"I love this song!!", I claimed.

"Then let's sing along!", he said.

"Oh no... My voice is not made for human ears. I sound like a banshee", I said as I shook my head.

"A what?. You know what?. You will explain that reference later on. Now, let's sing. Come on. Please, for me?", he said and gave me his best 'puppy eyes' look.

"Fine...", I said as the chorus was about to start.  _"Your heart hits like a drum. The chase has just begun... Monsters stuck in your head. We are, we are, we are... Monsters under your bed. We are, we are. We are monsters oh, oh. We are, we are, we are monsters oh..."._

"You have an amazing voice!!", Tom said as he smiled widely at me.

"I don't, but thanks...".

"Ok, let's see what we have next...", he said and pressed a button on the radio.

'Feel So Close' by Calvin Harris started to play. I had danced to this song so many times... Before I could even notice, I was dancing (or something like that, considering I was sitting in a car and wearing a seatbelt) to it and singing to the top of my lungs.

 _"I feel so close to you right now, it's a force field. I wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal. Your love pours down on me, surrounds me like a waterfall. And there's no stopping us right now, I feel so close to you right now",_  I sang and I could hear Tom's voice as well. He was quite a great singer, to be honest.

I put my hands up in the air and waved them until the song ended. I just looked at Tom and laughed. For the first time in a very long time, I was laughing for real.

"How did you know?", I asked.

"Know what?".

"That I loved those songs...", I said.

"Lucky guess, I suppose", he replied.

To be honest, I didn't really care. I was feeling so good I didn't even know where we were going.

"Hang on, where are we going?", I wondered.

"You will see. Patience, darling", Tom said. My heart skipped a beat when he called me 'darling'. I couldn't remember the last time someone had been this sweet to me.

Shortly after, we arrived at a beach.  _'What in God's name are we doing here?'_. But suddenly, it hit me. This is where Nik and I would come during spring-breaks.

Tom parked the car and I almost jumped out of it. I hadn't been to that place in a long time.

"I thought you would enjoy the sunset from here...", Tom said as I took my shoes off and walked into the sand.

I nodded, while staring at the sea. There was something about that place that made me feel like I was home. Or as close as I could be.

Tom put his hand on my shoulder. In a different situation, I would have started crying, but right then, I felt free. I smiled and just started running around the place, laughing for no particular reason.

Tom chased me and we sat down in the sand, as the sunset was near. We waited, in silence, until there was nothing but a sky full of stars above us.

"Nik and I used to come here every year, during spring-break", I said. I laid back on the sand, not caring if my hair got messy or if my clothes were scratchy. Tom looked at me for a second before laying on his back as well.

"I miss him. All the time I miss him. It's not waves, it's constant. All the time...", I sighed.

We stargazed for... I don't know how long. We just did. I kept my eyes closed for a moment.

"Nik...", I whispered. "You know? I feel like sometimes we are in the same place at exactly the same time, and I can almost hear his voice. It's like I'm holding him. I like to believe he knows I'm there. That's all you get. That's it. Moments with the people you love. And they'll move on, and you'll want them to move on, but still, that is all you get. Moments."

When I opened my eyes, Tom was looking at me and his eyes were teary.

"Tom? What's wrong?", I asked, frowning.

"Nothing. Nothing at all... It's just... What you just said was really beautiful. You are not the only one who can get emotional over deep conversations", he said.

"What was it that you wanted to show me?. I mean, wasn't that the whole point of meeting today?", I wondered, trying to change the subject

"I wanted to show you this", he said and pointed at the landscape.

I blinked a few times, trying to let the words sink in.

"Why?".

"Why not?. Hayley, we have known each other for less than a week, but you have made quite an impression on me. You trusted me enough to talk about your brother. I may be wrong but I assume you do not usually do that. When you talked about how you had stopped dancing and celebrating your good days... I couldn't help to feel the urge of bringing some of that joy back into your life, at least for a day. You should celebrate your good days, dancing and singing. And you should also dance and sing on your bad days, to make them better. You only get this one life, you should live it to the fullest...", he said and I felt my heart aching.

I closed my eyes. I didn't want Tom to see me crying. Obviously, I failed at it.

"It's okay, Hayley... It's okay...", he said as he grabbed my hand. Against my own advice, I curled up by Tom's side, who wrapped his arms around me.

"We should go home, Hayley...", Tom said softly.

"I don't want to go home... I don't want to be alone", I admitted. I hated being alone. Loneliness reminded me of my parents' house. The silence that took over that place after Nik passed away. I couldn't deal with it. Not that night.

"Okay. I have an idea, then. What if I stop by my Hotel room, grab some things and I stay with you?. It will be like a sleepover.", he said smiling.

"Good thing I have a spare bedroom", I said, half-chuckling.

"We can order a pizza and get some beer", he offered as he helped me to get back on my feet.

"I think I'll need something a little stronger than beer, but pizza sounds about great", I replied.

*

I was on my third shot of vodka and I could feel the alcohol going straight into my head. We had pizza in bed and now Tom was on his pj's doing some sort of dance while standing on the matress. It was rather sexy, to be honest.

"You are a good dancer...", I smiled at him.

"Come!. Dance with me!", he insisted.

Finally, I gave up and stood up on the matress. I had no idea how or why we were dancing to Boa's 'Eat You Up' but who even cared?. I grabbed the vodka bottle from the night table as we kept dancing and drank some more. Tom was slightly drunk and I was on a whole different galaxy. I started feeling dizzy, so I decided it'd be better to put the bottle down before I spilled it all over us. Trust me, raspberry flavored vodka isn't something you want to smell when you wake up after a night of drinking and dancing.

I sat down and laid back in bed. Tom's energy was still over the roof. Eventually, he calmed down a bit and did the same as me. He laughed at something I couldn't understand, but I laughed too as I was drunk as hell. For a second, I stopped laughing and looked at him closely. His perfect blue eyes, his cheekbones, his lips. I wasn't entirely sure the alcohol was to blame for my thoughts, but I could feel a growing desire inside of me. The desire of kissing him. But I didn't. The memories of my past made sure of that.

"I think we should call it a night...", I sighed.

"Yeah... My head is slightly spinning", he said with a small smile.

"No shit, Sherlock... You drank twice as much as me", I giggled.

"I can't say 'No' to vodka", he replied.

He stood up as he was going to sleep in the other bedroom at my apartment. It wasn't a guestroom yet, but it had a comfortable bed and some furniture in it.

"Tom?", I called him before he could walk out the door.

"Yes, darling?".

"Thank you, for what you did today. I honestly can't remember the last time I had that much fun; and also, thank you for trying to bring joy back into my life...", I said softly.

"You deserve the world, Hayley...", he said with a kind smile.

"Goodnight...", I replied.

"Goodnight, Hayley".

It had been some minutes, but I was still awake, thinking about that day. The beach, the sunset, the stars and Tom's words, that happened to be the same ones Nik had said to me in several occasions.

 _'I have this one life. Maybe, I should live it to the fullest...'_. That was my last thought before falling into a deep sleep.


	7. Chapter 07

**Hayley's P.O.V**

Tom and I had been seeing each other frequently for the past three months. A lot had changed in that time.

For starters, I got a call from NYCU. They offered me a job as a consultant on Mythology Studies and Folklore. Needless to say, I accepted it right away. I wasn't quite sure how they even got my resume, but I didn't care. I was finally doing something I loved. That day, I decided to follow Tom's advice and I celebrated by dancing at home, with Alaska. We got utterly drunk, but it was a great day.

I had been out of my house a lot more than I was used to. Sometimes I'd join Tom on his morning jogs. Other days, I would just walk around the city.

Unfortunately, Tom had to leave. He was going to shoot a new movie in London. Besides, he hadn't been home for months. I assumed he'd feel homesick at some point. In all the time we had spent together, I hadn't been able to make a single move. And out of respect for me, neither had he. Truth was I got attached to him, even though I kept certain distance. I would still feel shattered every now and then, and that'd stop me from doing or saying anything.

"Hay, you NEED to tell him how you feel...", Alaska said as we had some coffee in a park.

"I can't... I just can't...", I said.

"Why the hell not!?".

"Because, he's... I'm not good enough for him, Al. And we both know it. It's only a matter of time before he sees it too. Besides, I'm not even sure he likes me in ' **that** ' way".

"Yeah, right... Hayley, have you stopped to think, for a minute, all the things this guy has been doing for you?. He has given you back your inner glow. Do you really believe he would do that if he had no feelings for you at all?. And don't say that he does it because you are 'friends'. That's bullshit. Yes, you may be friends, but I can see the way he looks at you and that's not the look of a friend. That's the look of someone who is falling in love. Just like you are!. Why won't you just admit it?", she sounded frustrated.

"Because even if he did like me, even if he had feelings for me, that doesn't change the fact that I...", I sighed. It was hard to find the right words.

"You are making up excuses. You are sabotaging a great chance at being happy!".

"I CAN'T FORGET, ALASKA!", I yelled at her, and some strangers looked at us. "I can't simply forget everything I went through with Parker, okay?. And I sure as hell can't forget Nik told me to stay away from him!!. He warned me and I didn't even listen!!. So, what happened was on me. It was my own fault. And now I'm damaged and shattered, okay?. I'm no good for a guy like Tom. I'm made of glass and I keep cracking. One day, there will be nothing left of me to be cracked. I'm a grenade and when I finally explode, and I will, I don't want Tom, you or anyone to suffer the collateral damage. That's why I haven't said a word to him. If you think it's that easy, then you do it. Go and pour your heart out to him. I can't, and if that makes me a coward then I guess I'll have to live with it!".

I stood up from the bench where we had been sitting and walked away. I could hear Alaska calling my name but I couldn't deal with her or anyone, to be honest.

I went straight home and unpacked a box I had in my closet. It was full of Nik's things. I held on to the shirt he had worn back on his 'soccer player' days. I cried the living hell out of me. It hurt. It hurt badly. If only I had listened to him...

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

I had been out of New York for three months due work. Now, I was finally getting some weeks to rest at home. Any other night, I would have stayed in but I was in need of a drink, so I headed to a pub near my place.

I was sitting on a stool by the bar when I saw a familiar face.

"A Jameson on the rocks, please", I heard. I took a closer look. It was Hayley. Tom hadn't shut up about her for some weeks, that was until I left town.

"Hayley?", I asked. She looked at me with a sad smile. It was obvious she had been crying... a lot.

"Hey Sebastian... How are you?. I haven't seen you around...", she said. By her voice, I could tell she had been drinking for quite some time.

"I was out of town for work. How have you been?", I asked and I pointed at the empty stool by my side. She sat down and let out a deep sigh.

"I... Fine. I guess...", she mumbled.

"Are you sure about that?", I looked at her.

"No", she shook her head. "Alaska and I had an argument... She wants me to do something I'm not ready to do. It's something I don't know if I will ever feel ready to do..."

"Why is she pushing you? I mean, she's your best friend. I don't think she means to harm you", I stated.

"The thing with Alaska is... she wants me to be someone I'm not. Someone I can no longer be. And she pushes me into doing things that I literally can't do. The worst part is she knows the reason why I'm unable to act as she wants me to...", she said and gulped her drink.

"Why don't we go for a walk. The music is getting too loud and I don't think that more Jameson on the rocks will do you any good", I suggested.

Hayley looked at me and nodded.

"What did you mean when you said she wants you to be someone you can no longer be?", I asked as we walked down a quiet street. The air seemed to help her to gain back some composture.

"My brother died three years ago, he had a heart condition. Before that, I was this happy, cheerful, party girl. I had everything I could possibly want. But after Niklaus died, things just... went to waste. I felt sad, depressed and trying to hide it behind a mask only made it worse. My parents didn't give a fuck about me, they still don't. Alaska stood by my side; she got along with my brother and missed him too, but it was different for her. She didn't lose part of her soul. I did. The cherry on top was the guy I was dating. That was what finally tore me apart...", she said.

"I'm sorry about your brother. So... bad guy?", I wondered.

"Bad?. Bin Laden was bad. This guy was Satan in disguise. He was older than me. His name is Parker... We met at school. Niklaus knew him and he warned me not to get involved because the guy was bad news. I thought he was only being overprotective, like any older brother. At first, Parker seemed to care about me and allowed me to mourn my dead brother, but within time, I realized Nik was right. The relationship became unbearable. It started out with random complaints, but it soon escalated into physical abuse. I tried to leave him but he would get...".

She made a pause, tears were running down her face, though her voice was steady.

She sat down on a bench that was placed outside of a small shop. She pulled down her sweater and showed me a deep scar on her left shoulder. It looked like a half moon, but I could tell there was no beauty in that moon.

"He would turn into a monster who forced me to do things I didn't want to do. I was terrified and I couldn't tell a soul, because he had said that if I did, he would harm the people I loved the most. I couldn't put my family or Alaska in danger, so I kept quiet about it for years. We didn't live together, but I'd stay at his place often. And it would always end up in yelling, screaming and crying. I was about to finally get my PhD and Alaska was already living here. Eventually, the bruises became hard to hide. One time she stopped by her parents' house. We hung around and she saw one of my wounds. I didn't have to say a word, she figured it out on her own. I begged her not to say a word. She didn't but instead, she told me to press charges. She said I could come to New York with her and that we'd figure it out. So I did it. I pressed charges and spread the rumor that I was going to Haiti as a volunteer to help homeless people. That's what I even said to my parents. Not like they cared. So... I have been on the run for two years. As far as my ex knows, I'm still in Haiti. And now... Alaska wants me to express my feelings for this... person. And I can't. I simply can't. I've tried my best to get out of my shell, but the memories of what I've been through still haunt me. I still have nightmares and sometimes I find myself being paranoid, afraid that he might find me. If he ever did, he would kill me... And I'm scared and confused and I just... can't deal with any of it", she said and her sobs turned into a deep crying. I held her tightly. 

"Nobody is going to hurt you, Hayley, okay?. Nobody is going to do a single thing to you. I promise", I said as she held onto my chest.

I had no idea why I made that promise, but I sure as hell wasn't going to break it.

I took Hayley home and made sure she was inside, safe and sound, before I left. That night I couldn't sleep at all. Her words were all over my head. I needed to protect her. I needed to keep her safe at all costs.

As I rolled over in bed, my mind kept wondering if Tom had any idea of this, and who was this guy Alaska wanted Hayley to reveal her feelings for. Could it be Tom?. I had been out long enough and I hadn't kept in touch with Hiddles. In any case, I wasn't one to tell Hayley's secret. All I wanted to do was to keep her safe, but there were so many questions I had.

I grabbed my phone and texted the only person who could give me an honest answer.


	8. Chapter 09

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

"What do you mean she told you?", Alaska was sitting in my sofa. It was almost 4 in the morning. I couldn't sleep and she was way too worried about Hayley.

"She told me everything. Her brother's death. The sadness she felt and how this son of a bitch took advantage of her. The abuse. The wounds. She also mentioned you helped her to get out of there. I saw the half-moon shaped scar on her shoulder", I sighed as I looked at her.

"Good God... She did tell you everything. Well, almost...", she whispered.

"What do you mean?".

"I can't... Sebastian, I can't tell you... It's not right", she stuttered.

"Whatever it is she is holding back, it's breaking her down. You talk about her like she was your sister, yet you won't let me know what happened?", I was starting to get angry.

"If I tell you... You can't ever talk about this. If she ever mentions it, pretend you didn't know it already", she begged.

"What is it, Alaska!?", I almost yelled.

"He raped her. She was... She was a virgin until she met him, she said she wanted to wait. She wasn't eager to get laid, specially after losing Niklaus. One night they argued and he just... he raped her. That's why she hardly ever lets anyone touch her. She might hug you or hold your hand but that's it. If you even try to caress her arm, she will snap at you".

I looked at Alaska and felt I was about to either vomit or faint.

"Alaska... Hayley said you were being pushy towards her feelings for some guy. What the hell is going on?", I asked. I wasn't going to let her leave until I had all the answers I needed.

"I... Tom and Hayley have been hanging out a lot. Shortly after you met her, they went for a walk. She opened up to him but just about Nik's death. He called me the next day, saying he could see she was no longer happy and he wanted to bring back some joy into her life. I helped him out. I told him which were her favorite songs, and where she and her brother used to go for a walk. I told him who she was before any of this happened to her. And it worked, Sebastian. She started acting like her old self. In the last three months, she has been happier than in the last two years. But, Tom is leaving to London for work. Only God knows how long he'll be gone and I thought... You should have seen them. He looks at her like every woman wants to be looked at. But Hayley is stubborn and won't admit her feelings, nor to herself or him...".

"Don't you think that's her choice to make and not yours?. What would you do if you were in her shoes?. It's easy to judge and give advice when it hasn't happened to you...", I stated, trying not to lose my temper.

"You worry about her too. Why?".

"Because any woman who has been through that kind of living hell deserves and needs to be protected. I don't care if she has feelings for Tom or not. After what I heard tonight, all I care about is her wellbeing", I claimed.

"So, you go around helping abused women? Or is it just her?. You know, I was drunk but I remember how many times you said you liked her at the party...".

"What the ...? I was drunk and even if I wasn't, she is beautiful. So what?. You are acting like a jealous bitch, Alaska. If you really care about her, let her make her own choices, even if they are not the ones you would make".

Alaska looked at me, realizing she had been acting like a real bitch.

"You're right... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I just... I want her to be happy again. But she needs to allow herself to do so. Maybe I can't talk her through it, but you can. Just... help me out, Sebastian. I want Hayley to be happy...".

"It's ok. I'll help, but I'm doing this for her, not for you...", I said.

*

**Tom's P.O.V**

Hayley had been avoiding me for the past few days. Alaska said they had an argument, but I didn't understand how was it relevant to our relationship.

I had feelings for Hayley. Strong feelings that I couldn't quite describe. Sometimes she was happy and cheerful and on other occasions, she'd build a wall that would keep me far from her and, honestly, that had me confused. And hurt. All I wanted was for her to be happy again.

I was at the airport, waiting to board the plane that would take me to London. I tried calling her one last time, but it went straight to voice mail.

I texted the one person who could help me.

**Hayley's P.O.V**

_"My Dear Hayley: If you are reading this, it means I am no longer in town and I had no other way to get in touch with you. I have tried to respect your boundaries and I am sorry if this letter disturbs you._

_These past three months I have had the time of my life. Each second I got to spend with you was beautiful, just like you are. I wish I could have done this in person. It would make it easier for me to express how I feel._

_I like you, Hayley. I like the way you laugh, and how your hair waves in the air when you dance. I like how caring and thoughtful you are, and how protective of your people you can be. I like the way you look with no make-up at all. I like how you run in the sand at the beach. I like so many things about you, even the slightest ones. To my eyes, you are the closest I will ever be to Heaven._

_I adore you, my beloved Hayley and I hope you feel the same. Whatever happens, remember I will always be here for you. No matter what time it is or where I am at. If you need me, I will come for you._

_Yours, truly_

_Tom"_

The letter had appeared at my front door the day Tom was leaving. I had been avoiding him. And Alaska. And Sebastian. I would reply with short sentences. There was too much going on inside of my head and all I could do was push everyone off. I needed time.

I was about to put the letter back into the envelope when I noticed there was something else. A wolfsbane flower. The last time I had seen Tom, we had discussed the existence of supernatural creatures. Though I was a believer, I wasn't sure wolfsbane was a real thing. But he proved me wrong.

It was real. Just like everything around me.


	9. Chapter 09

**Hayley's P.O.V**

I laid on the floor for about 2, maybe 3 hours. All I could think of was how to get out of the mess I had created. Not only I had been avoiding Tom, Alaska and Sebastian, but I also had been feeling down again. As if I was at the bottom of a deep hole.

I heard someone trying to unlock the door. My first reaction was to rejoin and start to shake in fear. Alaska had a key to my apartment, but she hadn't been coming. We had a conversation after our argument. She apologized for being too pushy towards my feelings for Tom and I said I was sorry for snapping at her like I did. We were good, but, still... I wasn't ready to speak about what had happened.

"Hello? Hayley?", to my surprise, it was Sebastian who came into my apartment. He looked at me, as I was sitting on the floor, looking like I had seen a ghost. "What are you doing there?".

"I was... Wait. What are  **you**  doing here?", I asked before giving him an answer.

"Well, since you have been dodging my calls, I decided to pay you a visit. Alaska gave me her key", he said.

"Oh...", I simply replied. It sounded like something she'd do. She was currently busy with a lot of work, and Sebastian had been around ever since we ran into each other at the pub. He hadn't mentioned what I told him that night. He would just text me daily, to check up on me.

"Now, what are you doing there?", he repeated.

"I was laying down...", I sighed and went back to my original position.

"On the floor?", he asked as he came closer.

"Yes. It helps me to clear my head. I usually do this in the sand but... I haven't been doing great lately, meaning, I've only left the house to go to work or to get food at the market", I said.

Before I could notice, Sebastian was laying down next to me, staring at the roof.

"Well, I'm not gonna lie. This would be a lot easier on a beach, but your roof will have to do...", he said.

"I know, it's just... I don't feel ready to go back to the beach just yet".

"Hayley, it's ok. You don't have to rush yourself into things or situations you don't feel ready to face", he replied. "But you should go out. I'll tell you what. Let's go out tonight. We'll visit a nice club. If you don't like it, you can kick my ass from here to Germany..."

"I don't know...", I frowned.

"What other plans do you have?. Staying here, on the floor, contemplating your existence?", he said sarcastically.

"Fine... I'll come  **BUT**  if I don't like it, I will kick your ass...", I warned him.

"Good, and if you  **DO**  like it, then you'll be stuck with me for the rest of the weekend", he stated.

"Deal...".

*

"I hate you..." I groaned, drunkenly.

"You love me", Sebastian replied, giggling.

We went to this really nice club. At first, I was reluctant to the idea of having any fun at all, but Sebastian decided we should have a dance-off. We were clearly hammered by the time this happened. I lost track of how many bottles of beer we had. Next thing I knew I was dancing and head banging on a stage.

The club's owner had to ask us to leave, as we were the last people there.

"Now, you're stuck with me...", Sebastian mumbled. He was quite drunk and being his dorky self, it made him look adorable.

"It could have been worse...", I replied "You are fun to be around".

"And so are you, Hays...", he said as we walked into my apartment.

"Hays?".

"Yeah, I like how it sounds...", he smiled.

"Is it just me or the whole dining room is spinning around?", I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"It's both... I feel like  _ **I'm**_  spinning around".

"Ugh... I think it'll be better if you crash here tonight", I suggested "Guestroom is over there". I pointed at the door across the dining room. "Clean sheets, comfy mattress, nice pillows".

"Thanks...", he replied as he walked to the room, stumbling a bit.

I made my way into my own room walking like Jack Sparrow and feeling just as drunk as he would be.

*

"Wakey, wakey!", Sebastian said in a cheerful voice.

 _'What the fuck?. How can he be this fresh and cool after all we drank last night?'_. I still felt like the room was spinning around like an old record.

"Go away...", I groaned, covering my face with my pillows.

"Nope. Stuck with me, remember?", he said as he opened the curtains, letting the sun in.

"Let me sleep...", I said with a raspy voice.

"It's almost noon. You should get a shower and we could go out to have lunch", he insisted.

"Do you ever give up?", I asked, now looking at him. He had changed his clothes. He must have gone to his place and came back while I was still asleep.

"No", he smiled. I rolled my eyes at him and got out of bed.

"Could you please make some coffee?", I asked before heading to the bathroom.

"Sure...".

*

Sebastian and I went for lunch to a nice diner, not too far from my place. He made me laugh a lot, and at some point, it reminded me of Tom. They were nothing alike, but both of them had this unique way of making me feel better. For a while I almost forgot all the mess I had inside my head, and I needed that.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?", Sebastian asked.

"Nothing, really...".

"I'm not buying that".

"I just... It's nice to be here. You were right, I needed to get out. Thanks", I smiled at him.

"Anytime, Hays", he replied back with a wide smile.

In that moment, I felt grateful for having Sebastian by my side. He didn't have to do any of that, but still, he did it. He was a great guy. And then again, my mind travelled all the way down to Memory Lane (a.k.a Tom).

 _'Maybe it's time. Maybe I should call Tom and tell him the truth...'_ , I thought, hoping to have the courage to do it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

Over the last few weeks, I had tried to get closer to Hayley. It was complicated at first, but eventually, we both opened up. I told her about my childhood in Romania and growing up in the U.S. Once she felt confident enough, she would get out of her shell and it was something worth watching. Still, sometimes I had a hard time convincing her to get out her house, but my effort paid-off.

After having lunch, we decided to go for a walk.

"Seb... There's something I need to ask from you", she said.

"Anything", I replied.

"You have a car, right?".

"Yeah, why?".

"I was wondering... Would you take me somewhere?. There's this place I'd really like to visit", she said in a soft voice.

"Of course I'll take you", I smiled at her.

Alaska had told me about this place on the beach, where Hayley and her brother would go during spring-break. I also knew Tom had been there with her as well. I tried to get a hold on him, but he was way too busy with his new movie. Part of me felt he was avoiding Hayley just as much as she had been avoiding him. I adore Tom, but I found that attitude quite childish. If only he knew the whole story, then he would understand the reasons behind Hayley's behavior.

I drove for about half an hour, until Hayley told me to pull over. It was the spot at the beach, indeed.

"Do you want to be alone?", I asked. I wasn't sure she'd want me there.

"No. Come...", she replied.

We took our shoes off as we walked into the sand, all of this while we were silent.

"You know?. This is the only place where I feel at home. It reminds me of Niklaus, and all the happy moments we spent here. He would drive all the way from Toronto, just so we could get to stay here for some days. He made me realize that  _'home'_  isn't a house. Home is a person. Home are the people that keep you going day after day...", she said softly.

"Niklaus was your home...", I whispered.

She looked at me and nodded. For the first time, I took a real look at her; her hair, eyes and lips. Her body. Her long eyelashes and delicate hands. She was beautiful, but most of all, she was strong and brave. I felt a pitch in my stomach and suddenly, Hayley's warm hand was holding mine. Her eyes were lost in the deep sea.

"You still have a home, Hays. There are still people who want you to be happy", needless to say, I was talking about Alaska... and myself. I wished I could have said I was speaking in Tom's behalf but I didn't want to go into that topic. She hadn't brought it up so far and neither was I.

"I know...", she whispered, but her eyes still looked sad.

I did the only thing I could think of and pulled her into the sand with me, causing both of us to fall down. I started moving my arms and legs up and down, trying to build a sand-angel. Hayley looked at me as if I was insane, but after two seconds, she burst out in laughter and started copying my moves.

I hadn't heard her laughing, not like this. It was a genuine laugh. And then, I felt it again: the pitch in my stomach.

We stayed laying on our backs as we watched the sunset turn into night.

"Well, since the weekend isn't over yet, you're still stuck with me", I said playfully.

"I know. Just... let me stop by my place and take a quick shower before going anywhere", she replied as we stood up.

"Yeah, I could use a shower myself. I have sand in places where there should never be sand. At all", I stated causing Hayley to laugh at my comment.

*

"I'm totally kicking your ass", she said as we played videogames at my place. We had ordered a pizza and had some beer with it.

"Not for long", I replied while I tried to beat her.

She, indeed, kicked my ass. We took a break and she pulled her phone out of her jacket. She looked at the time. I could have sworn her mind was somewhere else.

"It's not too early in London. I think it's around 7 a.m, considering it's almost 2 here...", I said, trying to hide my lack of joy when I realized she was thinking about Tom.

"London?", she asked and raised an eyebrow.

"That's where Tom is. You should call him now, before he goes off to work. Shoots can last for several hours...".

She looked at me.

"I... I don't know...", she frowned.

"Hays, let me tell you something. One day, you'll look back on your life, and the only thing that matter will be: did you spend it doing what you love with the people you love? Were you happy? Did you make the most of this beautiful, terrifying, messed up life? Did you let go of all the things that held you back, so you can hold on to what matters most?", I said and grabbed her face between my hands. I know Alaska had said Hayley was reluctant towards physical contact, but against all odds, she didn't pull away nor she snapped at me.

She simply nodded and stood up. She walked to my bedroom and I could see her deciding to make that call. Even though a part of me was jealous, I wanted what was best for her and if that meant Tom was the man for her, then it was alright.

**Hayley's P.O.V**

"Hayley?", Tom sounded quite surprised. I would have probably sounded the same, if he had called me after avoiding me for almost a month.

"Hi...", I said shyly.

"Are you ok? Is everything fine?".

"Yes, I'm fine...", I made a pause. "You know what? I'm not. I'm not fine. I'm sorry Tom. I had a breakdown and I thought that avoiding everyone around me would make it easier. But it didn't. And I owe you an apology. I should have said 'Goodbye' properly. I should have been at the airport when you left. I should have said... I got your letter, and the wolfsbane flower".

Tom went silent. I think he was expecting me to say if I felt the same way about him as he did about me.

"Tom?. I like you, ok?. I really like you and I should have said it before, but I couldn't. I... There is a lot you still don't know about me. Things about my past that have been keeping me from being honest and happy. But not anymore. I want to make things right. I need you to know the whole story and then, you will decide if I'm still worth it", I said, feeling my heart beating so fast that I feared I would have a stroke.

"Good God, Hayley... I wish I could get on an airplane right now. I... I want to see you but I'm stuck here. Maybe you could come over to London. I would pay for the plane ticket and you would stay with me, at home", he offered.

"I can't... I have to work, but I don't want to wait...", I replied frustrated.

"Okay, so, it is already Sunday here. It's my day off. We could go on Skype tonight. I mean, it would be night time here and day time in New York. I know it is not much, but, considering we have no other options...", he said.

"Okay, yes... I will be online at 3 in the afternoon, does that work for you?".

"Yes!. It sounds perfect. God, Hayley, I missed your voice so much...".

"And I missed yours...", I sighed.

"I was about to go for a jog, but we'll Skype later, okay?".

"Okay...".

"Bye, Hay".

"Bye, Tom".

I walked out of Sebastian's room to find him on the sofa, with his eyes closed.

"Seb?", I whispered.

"Huh? How did it go?", he asked, opening his eyes.

"We'll go on Skype later and I'll come clean", I said.

"That's good", he nodded.

"Thank you", I said as I hugged him tightly. I wasn't really used to have physical contact, specially after what had happened with Parker. But I felt the sudden urge to hold this man tight. His words had touched me, he had given me the courage to make that call.

"I just want you to be happy", he whispered in my ear, still hugging me.

"So do I...", I said.

And for once, I was determined to be the happy woman I had been before.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hayley's P.O.V**

Sebastian dropped me off at my apartment around 3.30 in the morning. We had been playing some videogames. I honestly had a lot of fun, but I was starting to feel a bit tired. He offered me to crash at his place for the night, but I declined his offer. There was nothing wrong with him, I just... wanted to be alone for some hours. He said he'd call me the next day.

As soon as I walked into the apartment, something felt terribly off place. Everything was exactly as I had left it, but I had this strange feeling. I could feel a soft scent that made me want to throw up. It was Parker's scent. I opened the windows and held on to the back of my sofa while I tried to take deep breaths.

 _'I have to calm down. This is all in my head. It's in my head'_ , I said to myself. Once the scent faded away, I closed the windows and went to my bedroom.

It took me a while until I fell asleep. I couldn't stop thinking how to tell Tom the truth. My mind wouldn't shut up. Eventually, it did and I was able to get some rest.

After I woke up, I had breakfast and called Alaska. I explained her what I was about to do. She seemed happy about it, although all she said was  _"If you think it's the right thing to do, then I support you. I have your back, always"._

A few minutes before 2 pm, I received a text.

_'Blocked ID?. What the hell?'_

I started shaking. I thought it was probably some kind of prank, even though deep inside I was terrified of what this person could possibly mean. Then I got a second text.

 **(A/N: Recommended song**  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZWne89Xou4 **)**

I could feel my heart cracking inside my ribcage. I didn't even reply. I stared at the pictures for quite some time and then I just snapped. I started crying and screaming until my throat was burning with pain.

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

"Hayley, calm down. I can't understand a word you're saying", I asked softly. She had called me and all I was able to hear was her weeping.

"Can you come over? Please? Please, Seb... Please", she begged in-between sobs.

"I'll be there in ten minutes".

I don't think I ever drove that fast in my entire life, but Hayley was clearly unwell and I was starting to freak out about it. Wasn't she supposed to be on Skype with Tom?. What the hell had happened and why was she crying like a bloody banshee?. I still had Alaska's key, so I rushed into the building and pretty much jumped into the elevator.

"Hayley??", I asked as I closed her apartment's door behind me.

She didn't reply. I looked for her in her bedroom but she wasn't there. I found her on the guestroom, laying on the floor, holding onto her phone and a piece of paper. It looked like a letter and I could barely recognize the handwriting. 

Her eyes were red and puffy, even her lips looked swollen. I crouched towards her and held her against my chest. Whatever happened, had left her shattered.

"Hayley, what happened?", I asked.

She didn't answer; instead, she handed me her phone and the letter. I read the letter first and then I looked at the pictures on her phone. I felt my heart aching for her.

_'You have got to be fucking kidding me. All this time he was seeing someone else?. He thought Hayley wouldn't find out?. What kind of asshole does that to a woman he claims to adore and have feelings for!?'_

I also felt anger taking over me, but it wasn't the right time to go all Winter-Soldier on Tom's petty ass. Right then, Hayley needed me, so I tried to calm down. It was only then I realized I was falling for her the same way you fall when you jump off a cliff: fast and dangerously. I knew this would happen, I just wasn't expecting it to be anytime soon.

"It was all a lie...", she said. Her voice sounded raspy. She had been crying for God knows how long.

"Hays...", I honestly didn't know what to say to her.

"He was never going to love me. I was just a distraction until he got back home. How on Earth could I be so stupid?".

"Hayley, you were not stupid. You are anything but stupid. You wanted to see the good in him", I replied.

"No. I was stupid. I thought that maybe, this one time, things would actually work out for me. I thought that he would want me, even with my wicked past. But, who am I kidding?. I'm no good for him or anyone at all. I'm damaged beyond repair..."

"Hayley, stop...".

"It should have been me instead of Nik. I should have died, not him. Maybe I should have let Parker beat me to death. Because, I mean, what's the point?. I was willing to fight for my happiness but really, what is the point?. Maybe some people don't get a happy ending. They just get what they've bargained for..."

"Hayley, STOP!", I yelled at her and she looked up to me. "I'm sorry, but none of that is true. Come", I said as I made her stand up and follow me to her bedroom. There was a big mirror on one of the walls. I stood behind her.

"Look at yourself, Hayley. You are strong. You are brave. You are worthy. You deserve happiness, and love. You have to live.  _ **I**_  need you to live", I begged.

"Why? What difference will it make if I live or die?", she asked.

"See, that's the problem. You... you don't care about getting hurt. But you know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated. And if anything happens to you, I will literally go out of my freaking mind. You see, death doesn't happen to you, Hayley. It happens to everyone around you, okay? To all the people left standing at your funeral, trying to figure out how they're gonna live the rest of their lives now without you in it", I snapped.

She looked at me, with tears in her eyes.

"God, Hayley, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I just... I care about you, okay?. Ever since you told me about your brother and your ex, I've felt the need to protect you. On that same night, I texted Alaska and told her I knew the whole story. If you want to get mad, get mad at me. I have been acting like your shadow, making sure you would be fine because I couldn't tolerate the idea of you going through any more pain. And yes, I like you, ok?. I have liked you since the first time I saw you, but yesterday, at the beach, when I heard you laughing... It was music to my ears, Hayley. I like you and I don't care if the feeling is mutual. I'm not here to get in your pants. I'm here for you", I made a pause. "I know how hard it was for you to speak about your past, but you trusted me and did it anyway. I can see there is still life in you. So don't fight it. If you're going to fight anything, fight your bad thoughts. Fight them until they go away for good. You are brave. You have made it this far. You may have lost a few battles, but you will win this war, Hayley. I just need you not to give up. Please, don't give up...", I asked her.

"Don't leave... Please, don't leave", she said as she held onto my chest.

"I won't. I won't leave...".

Hayley had fallen asleep shortly after our conversation (or should I say after my confession?). I went back to the guestroom, to grab her phone. I could see she had about 20 missed calls and 35 text messages. All of them were from Tom. I turned Hayley's phone off and put it back on her night table.

I walked to the balcony and got my phone out of my pocket. I called Alaska first and explained her what had happened. She was devastated and kept saying it was her fault, for encouraging Hayley to do it and for helping Tom to get so close to her. I replied that I was just as guilty as her, as I had been the one who told Hayley to call Tom the night before. I begged Alaska not to say a word about it, as Hayley would want to tell her herself.

Now, there was another call I had to make and it sure as hell wasn't going to be a nice one.


	12. Chapter 12

**Tom's P.O.V**

I was pretty much on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

Hayley never got on Skype. At first, I thought maybe she was delayed because of work or some other reasonable explanation. After an hour of waiting, I decided to call her. She wouldn't answer. I tried texting her but had no luck either. I even called Alaska, but the call went straight into her voicemail. I kept calling and texting Hayley, terrified that something might have happened to her.

I had my eyes closed when my phone started ringing. My heart skipped a bit, but the feeling quickly went away when I saw it Sebastian who was calling.

"Hi Sebastian. I do not mean to be rude, but I am expecting a call. Is there any chance we can talk at some other time?", I asked before even saying 'Hello'.

"Listen to me, because I will say this only once. If you ever dare to come close to Hayley, I will rip your head off myself!!!", he said. I could tell he was furious.

"Wait, what?. Where is Hayley? What happened to her? Is she okay? I haven't been able to get in touch with her. We were supposed to go on Skype but she never showed up...", I said while heavy breathing.

"Stop pretending, Tom!!. She knows the truth. Do you have any idea of the damage you have caused!?. Why didn't you tell her you had a girlfriend back home?. She was about to tell you something extremely important. Something that she wanted you to know, something nobody knows except for Alaska and me. She thought that even after knowing the truth, you would love her the same... How could you do that to her?. You wrote that letter and gave her hope only to take it away from her!!".

"What!?!? A girlfriend back home!?!? What on God's name are you even talking about!?!?".

"Hayley got a couple of messages along with two pictures of you and some skinny dumb blondie. We all got a clear view of your tongue going down her throat, so don't you try to sell any kind of bullshit to me!".

"Sebastian, I swear to God, I have no idea of who sent those pictures to Hayley, but I can assure you, they are old. Taylor and I broke up almost a year ago", I tried to explain.

"Bullshit!. The pictures seemed brand new. I swear I could kill you right now!!. I found her laying on the floor, crying. Her face didn't even look like it belonged to her. Her voice was raspy because of how much she had screamed. If you have any respect at all for her, then you'll stay away", he warned me.

"No. I... I can't... I'll go there. I... I need to explain her", I stuttered.

"If you set a foot near Hayley's house, it will be the last thing you'll ever do. You have my word on that", he said and hung up.

 _'God... How did any of this happen?'_.

I had to tell her that whatever she saw was not real. For God's sake, I was in love with her!. I would never do anything to hurt Hayley.

I texted her and waited. I cried myself to sleep. The buzzing from my phone woke me up in the middle of the night.

I had lost her. I had done nothing and yet, I had lost her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hayley's P.O.V**

**\----1 Week Later----**

The day I hated the most had finally come. It Was Nik's death anniversary. It was Sunday, so that meant no work. Part of me would have wanted to be at work, so I would have had something to occupy my mind with, but deep down, I knew that I would eventually collapse, and I didn't want to make a scene.

I closed my eyes and I could remember it all: Nik's last hours, spent in agony, coughing and spitting blood. I remembered carrying him to his bed and holding his hand as he fell asleep. 

I remembered falling asleep like that and waking up to find his hands were cold as ice. I called his name but... he was gone.

The funeral; people saying they were sorry for our loss; Alaska holding me tight to prevent me from fainting. I could remember that as well.

One of the most painful things about that day was not being able to visit his tomb at the cemetery. Before I left Toronto, I stopped by to see his grave one last time. I knew I had to go away if I wanted to stay alive. I left a red rose, which Nik liked, even though he would never admit it, and I whispered  _"You are my home, Nik. You will be my home, always and forever"_. That was our thing:  _'always & forever'_.

I opened my eyes and stayed in bed all day. I had cried myself to sleep every single night over the past week. I still wasn't sure how my body wasn't dehydrated by then. All I could think of was Tom, and how much pain he had caused me. I wanted to hate him, I really did but I wasn't strong enough. Not even to hate him. There was only so much I could take.

I wanted to go numb; I wanted to feel nothing at all.

**Alaska's P.O.V**

"So, did you find out anything?", Sebastian asked.

We were sitting on the floor, outside of Hayley's apartment. Since she wouldn't return any of our calls or texts, we decided to wait until she felt ready to talk, or cry, or do anything at all. She would do this every year on that day, but considering what had happened with Tom, we were worried about what she could do.

"Not really. Ray tracked down the messages and all he got was that they came from a disposable phone, located somewhere in the city", I replied. We had been trying to find out who had sent those pictures to Hayley.

"So it was a dead end...".

"Yeah. In any case, we should be grateful. Whoever did it, exposed that asshole as he really is".

"It also broke Hayley's heart...", Sebastian pointed out.

"I know, but if she had told him the truth only to find out he had been lying to her, it would have been a lot worse".

"Yes. And I would be facing charges for murder right now", he sighed.

"You and I both, pal".

"Hey, Al?. Do you think she'll like it?", he asked as he showed me a necklace he had bought for Hayley (for like the 100th time).

"She'll love it. Just... wait a bit longer before giving it to her", I suggested.

"Actually, I've been thinking I could give it to her on Valentine's Day. I mean, it's four months away. That's reasonable, right?".

"Wow!. You got her a present with four months of anticipation!?", I was shocked.

Sebastian sighed and looked at the necklace.

"As soon as I saw it, I knew it would look perfect on her. I've been carrying it with me ever since I got it. I would gladly knock that door down and give it to her right now, but I wouldn't make a difference. She needs time to heal and to recover from everything that has happened to her, especially after last week".

"My God...", I sighed a bit shocked. "You are in love with her...", I whispered. I was aware he liked her, but I had no clue that his feelings for Hayley were so deep.

"I am, and believe me, I didn't expect it to happen. But I would never ever hurt her. That why I'm willing to wait for her. I don't care if it takes four months or four years. I will wait until she's ready and if she decides to give me a chance, I swear to make her happy. Like she should be, like she deserves to be. And even if she never falls for me, I will still be by her side, as a friend, who wants nothing but the best for her".

His blue eyes looked honest, sincere and filled in with the purest kind of love I had ever seen. He really loved her.

"I think Niklaus would have given you his blessing", I said with a small smile.

"It would have been an honor".

I'm not a believer, but right then, I internally prayed for Hayley to see the light in Sebastian's heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hayley's P.O.V**

**\----2 Months Later----**

"Well, all we need is the star and we're done", Sebastian said as he contemplated the Christmas Tree on a corner of my living room.

He insisted I had to celebrate the holidays properly and, for a change, I agreed. Since Alaska was going to visit her parents, Sebastian had asked me to join him and his friends to celebrate.

Over the past two months, he had been by my side through thick and thin, helping me to overcome my many problems. I had told him my deepest and darkest secret and even though I was terrified that he would leave, he stayed. He didn't see me as damaged goods, but as a survivor. And that thought kept me going when I was feeling unwell. He would keep me going, even when I wanted to give up.

I would miss him when he wasn't around and hugging him gave me a sensation of safety and comfort. It didn't take long for me to see I liked him. It wasn't the way I had felt for Tom; there wasn't a burning desire in me. This was different: it was calm and peaceful. Maybe that was what my heart needed: peace and quietness.

"Ready?", he asked while looking at me. I nodded and he held me up as I put the star on top of the tree. I had to admit, it looked really nice.

It was Christmas' Eve and there was one hell of a snow storm outside.

"Well, so much for a Christmas party...", Sebastian claimed. The dinner we were attending to had been cancelled due the weather, so we were stuck at my place.

"Come, let's go cook something", I said.

We had pasta and red wine. After dinner, we sat down on the sofa and watched some old movies. I had placed my head on his shoulder and was starting to feel a bit tired when he whispered into my ear.

"Merry Christmas, Hays".

I smiled at him. "Merry Christmas, Seb".

I stood up and walked to the tree, as I was searching for an specific present.

"Here...", I said as I handed him a box wrapped in silver paper. I had bought him a t-shirt with the phrase "MEME IT" on it. Seb's first reaction was to laugh loudly.

"This is the best Christmas present ever!. Thank you!!", he replied as he tried the t-shirt on.

"You are welcome", I said and smiled at him.

"Ok, now is my turn. Close your eyes", he said. I did as instructed and shortly after I felt something cold against my neck and part of my chest. "Now you can open them", he whispered.

I looked down to find a beautiful necklace hanging from my neck.

"God... This is so beautiful...", I said in a whisper. "Thank you".

"I... I've had it for two months. I was going to wait until Valentine's Day, but I... uhm... I figured out that tonight would be okay. Truth is... I'm in love with you, Hayley. And... I'm willing to wait for you, no matter how long it takes, because you are worth the wait and I...". I stopped him.

"Sebastian, you can stop waiting now..." I said and a sad expression spread over his face. He looked as if he was about to cry. I grabbed his face between my hands. "You can stop waiting because I'm falling for you".

He looked at me with his baby blue eyes and before giving him the chance to say a word, I kissed him. The kiss was sweet, soft and gentle.

In that moment, I felt more alive than ever before.

**Tom's P.O.V**

It was already Christmas in New York. That was my only thought. Everybody was celebrating and all I could think of was Hayley, wondering where she was and if she was happy.

I would often stay awake at night, thinking about her. Missing her.  _'I never even had the chance to kiss her'_. All I knew was that I loved her more than I had ever loved any other woman in my entire life.

And God, it hurt!. It hurt not knowing how was she doing. I mean, I knew she was doing great at work, as I had been the one who managed to get that job for her. I never told her or Alaska about it. But that was all I knew. I had absolutely no idea of how she was dealing with her personal life, and the pain seemed to get worse by the second. There were so many times when I wanted to call her and tell her I was sorry, even though I had not done a single thing. I wanted her to know that none of those pictures were new. They had been taken a year ago, and someone decided to make it look like they were recent. I had lost her over to somebody's anger. But every time I would grab my phone, I would remember her last words _'Pretend I never existed'._ How could I?.

How could you ever pretend that the most beautiful human being on Earth never existed?.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's the deal: the song is creepy af BUT it really fits in with the whole scenario that surrounds this chapter.

**Hayley's P.O.V**

"We're not having pizza again!", I stated over the phone. Sebastian would insist on eating pizza almost every day. "Look, I'll take a shower and I'll call you back".

It had been two days since Christmas and I was still in Cloud 9 about that kiss.

I had come home from work, and the moment I set foot into my apartment I felt something awful was about to happen, if it hadn't already happened.

( <https://youtu.be/CeTRCNwV4D8> )

The place was a mess, everything was upside down. I tried not to panic but it was pretty damn impossible, considering someone had been in there. I looked one of the walls and I screamed.

The word BITCH was written in red paint. Or I thought that's what it was. I took a step forward and ran a finger. It was fresh, but it wasn't paint. Paint isn't as thick or dark. It was blood.

I ran into my bedroom, but everything seemed normal there, except for my mirror, which was destroyed and stained. Then I took a better look: there was a flash drive memory on my pillow, and a sticky note along with it: 'Look inside'. That's all it said. It couldn't recognize the handwriting. I didn't know why or how, but instead of calling 911, I went to my laptop and inserted the damned thing in it. There was a single folder, with the words 'For Hayley'. I clicked on it and once again, I screamed.

It was full with hundreds of pictures of me. Sleeping, walking to work, grabbing food at the market. But that wasn't all. There weren't just pictures of me, but of everyone I loved as well: Alaska. Sebastian. Tom. And the last picture was by far the most disturbing one. Each one of them had a red X on their faces.

My phone buzzed and I almost drop it when I saw the messages.

Whoever it was could tell exactly where I was and what I was doing. I read the last message again. The guestroom. The lights went off before I could go in there. I used my phone's flashlight. It looked like a crime scene. 

There was blood everywhere. Each one of the pillows had a stain and a name: Sebastian. Alaska. And that wasn't all. In the center of the bed there was a disposable phone along with another sticky note: 'Turn me on. Play the audio file'. I was shaking so bad it took me several minutes to even grab the phone. I was terrified by then but played the audio file anyway. It was a recording of Tom's voice. I had heard that before. It was from an audio-book, called 'The Red Necklace'.

 I played it again and the words hit me:

_"I will be the first man to kiss you... To bed you... Whether you come willingly or not. You will be mine, and mine alone."_

_'Parker. Oh God... Oh my God!'._  I couldn't even open my mouth, and then I got another text.

I wanted to scream but I was too terrified. I looked at my phone. I knew he wanted me to suffer for what I done to him and he would take it out on the ones I loved more than anything in my life. I couldn't let that happen. The phone buzzed one more time.

And then, everything around me disappeared.

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

Hayley said she would call me back. It had been two hours and I hadn't heard from her. I was starting to worry. I called her but her phone was out of service. _'What the fuck?'._  I called Alaska. She was just as worried as I was, but she had other reason to be.

"Meet me at Hayley's place as soon as you can", she asked and I could tell something was wrong.

I passed all the red lights and nearly crashed my car twice, but I had to get there. When I arrived, Alaska was at the building, on the door, crying.

"What is it?", I asked.

She wouldn't stop shaking and all she did was hand me her phone over.

"What...?. Alaska, what is going on!?".

"Just... just... listen", she said.

She had received a voicemail. All I could hear was someone screaming. But then, I payed attention. I knew that scream. Hayley.

"Who sent you this? Have you been upstairs?", I asked as I felt my heart beating too fast for my own sake.

She nodded, but was way too shocked to do or say anything.

I walked into the building and ran up the stairs to Hayley's apartment. The door was open. I felt my jaw dropping and my heart as if it was being ripped out of my chest. There was blood on the walls, and it looked like someone had been... I couldn't even think of that word. Hayley's laptop was on her desk, I could see hundreds of photos of her, Alaska, Tom and me. 

I went into her bedroom, afraid of what I was going to find. There were signs of struggle. Her mirror was broken and the pieces were stained with blood.

I searched throughout the entire place, but there was no sign of Hayley. I found her phone, broken to pieces between two pillows which happened to be stained with blood. Mine and Alaska's name on them. I found a disposable phone. It had a recording of Tom. There was no freaking way he could be behind any of this. He could be an ass but he wasn't a psychopath.

Then I looked at the floor, I hadn't noticed it before, but there were flower petals on the ground. They were lined up and through them, you could read the words: SHE IS GONE.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know, I know... another creepy song)

**Tom's P.O.V**

I awoke to the annoying and persistent sound of my phone ringing. It was 3 in the morning.  _'For God's sake, who is it?'._  

I saw Sebastian's name on the screen. I hesitated for a moment before answering, considering how our last conversation had ended, but I decided it would be rude of me not to answer.

"Hello?. Sebastian?".

"Tom... Tom...", he sounded shaken.

"Sebastian, what is wrong?", I asked and had the horrible feeling that something had happened. Something terrible.

"It's Hayley... She's... You need to come to New York, right now...".

"What happened? Is Hayley okay?", now I was officially worried.

"No. Hayley... She's missing. Tom, I can't explain it over the phone. You need to come. Please...", he begged.

"What do you mean she is missing!?!?", I asked.

"Someone has her... You really need to come. Please", he insisted.

"I'll take the first flight to New York right away", I said as I was already getting out of bed and looking for my clothes.

"Thanks".

**3rd person P.O.V**

\----36 hours later----

( <https://youtu.be/yVIRcnlRKF8> )

"Oh my God... Hayley...", Tom cried.

A completely disturbed Sebastian and an awfully shaking Alaska had picked him at the airport. His flight had been delayed due weather issues, but that was the least of his worries. They told him everything: from Parker's existence to Hayley's disappearance. Now he understood it all. Now he knew what Hayley meant when she had said she wanted him to know the truth about her and her past. And now, both Sebastian and Alaska knew Tom had done nothing wrong. Those pictures had been sent on purpose, just to hurt Hayley.

"I know I shouldn't have done it, but the police wouldn't give us anything, so... I took photos of everything", Alaska said, showing both of them a folder with pictures of Hayley's apartment. Tom had to hold in the urge to throw up when he saw what had been done to the place.

"Oh God... This... this is... wolfsbane", Tom stuttered.

"What?", Sebastian asked.

"This petals. They are from a flower called wolfsbane. Hayley and I had a conversation about supernatural creatures. She said that according to the folklore, wolfsbane was poison for werewolves, but she didn't believe the flower actually existed. When I left, I sent her a small wolfsbane flower along with my letter".

"Wait, when you left? You mean like months ago?", Alaska wondered.

"Yes...", Tom nodded.

"God... He's been after her all this time", Sebastian sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Have you been able to get a hold on her parents yet?".

"No. Both of their phones are out of service, and so is their main line", Alaska said.

"You don't think... Is it possible that he...?", Tom couldn't finish his sentence but they all thought the same.

"Considering he is a psychopath, I think it's possible he might have done something to them...".

A phone started ringing. It was Alaska's.

"It's Ray", she said. Ray happened to have a past as a hacker, so after hearing what had happened he decided to help them out, no matter what.

Alaska spent several minutes on the phone, and all of sudden, her face went pale; both men had to grab her to prevent her from falling down.

"Thanks, Ray...", she said in a whisper.

"What happened?", Tom asked.

"Ray hacked into the Police Department's data base. They have been able to recover some data from her phone. She got several texts. There is a good chance her house was bugged and under surveillance, which means... this son of a bitch has been watching her every move for months. Also, the texts she got came from the same phone as the photos she received months ago. Ray was going to check if he could at least see what those messages said. There is one more thing...", Alaska said, still pale as she shallowed. "They ran tests on the blood found at Hayley's place. None of it was hers, but...", she paused herself.

"But what!?", Sebastian snapped.

"There were two types of blood. The DNA tests showed they were a match to her parents. Both of them. And by the amount found, there's a big chance that they are... dead", she mumbled.

"Oh God...", Tom whispered in desperation.

"Ray also said that as New Year is coming, the Police will probably do nothing until the Holidays have passed...".

"But there is a missing person. A person who is at risk!", Sebastian yelled.

"That's why we are going to step in. If they aren't willing to do a single thing, then we will", Alaska replied, trying to gain some composure.

"But... where do we start?", Tom asked.

"We need to rebuild Hayley's last months. Or at least, the last 72 hours she spent in that apartment".

"The Police won't let us go anywhere near there, it's a crime scene", Sebastian stated.

"I know. But you and I were the last ones who spent time with her. Tom, you'll have to help us. If there's anything you remember she could have told you, we need to know".

Alaska's phone rang again, making all of them jumpy.

"Blocked ID?", she said as she raised an eyebrow.

"It can be Hayley, ANSWER IT!!!!", Tom said.

"Wait! Put it on speaker, in case it's her", Sebastian suggested.

"Hello?", Alaska's voice was pretty weak.

"Al?. It's me...", they all stared at each other. It was Hayley, but they could tell she didn't sound like her normal self.

"Hay?. Where are you? What happened?".

"I had to... get out of there. I just snapped. I... I won't be coming back. I've... found a much better place for me... And within time... I'll join Nik... I just... tell Sebastian I'm sorry. Tell Tom I'm sorry as well, for everything. Just... you'll be fine. You will all be fine and... this... this... will be over...soon. Bye Al".

The called got cut off.

"There is no fucking way Hayley ran away. He probably forced her to make that call", Sebastian said. Alaska was still shaking and Tom's eyes widened.

"He is going to kill her. Or worse, he is going to force her to commit suicide...", Tom said. "She said 'within time, I will join Nik'. Niklaus is dead!".

"Ray... Ray is our only chance", Alaska soon realized and dialed his number. "Ray, I need you to track down where the last call I received came from. As soon as you know it, get your ass over here".

"I swear to God, if anything happens to her...", Sebastian whispered.

"It will not. Nothing will happen to her. We are going to find her, ok?. We need to work together", Tom answered.

For once, they all agreed on something: they would get Hayley back. No matter the price they had to pay.

**Alaska's P.O.V**

"Ray, tell me, now!", I demanded, before even saluting my friend. He came as soon as he could and was almost of out breath.

"Toronto. The last call... it came from Toronto. It was from a disposable phone", he replied.

"He took her back home...", I mumbled.

"How fast can we get there?", Tom asked.

"As fast as any of us can drive", I replied.

"We can take my SUV...", Ray offered.

"But we need a plan...", Sebastian said.

"We'll come with a plan as soon as we get our asses there. Now, let's move!", I said.

As we walked into Ray's SUV, I started thinking where Parker could have taken Hayley.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

We took turns for driving. Tom was, by far, the more careful one at it. Both Alaska and I were reckless. Ray was somewhere in between.

I had my hands on the wheel when Alaska yelled.

"THE POND!!!!".

I stepped on the brake and we all looked at her, waiting for her to explain what the hell that even meant.

"The pond! He took her to the pond!. There's... an old house near this pond, not too far from where Hayley used to live as a child. That's the same place where he...", needless to say, we knew exactly what Parker had done to Hayley in there.

"Go! Go! GO!!", Tom yelled.

"Guys... If this son of a bitch is the person you're saying, he'll most likely be armed. We can't go empty handed", Ray said as I started driving even faster than before.

"Does anyone here have a gun? Or at least is allowed to carry one?", Alaska asked.

Tom and I shook our heads; we had only used fake knives and guns on set.

"Actually...", Ray said and pulled something out of a box. It was a crossbow.

"That's good, Ray. But we need more than that...", Alaska sighed.

"If you would only let me finish...", he rolled his eyes. "There are two 9 mm in the trunk. I didn't say anything before because, well... they are not exactly legal and I could get into deep shit because of it, but I don't care. If that's what it takes to save Hayley, then I'll do it".

"Okay, so we have 3 weapons. There are four of us. That means...", I said but Tom cut me off.

"Someone has to be the bait. I'll do it", he said.

I was about to step on the brake again but we would be losing time.

"Tom, you can't be the bait!", Alaska claimed.

"Why not?", he asked.

"Because of this..." Ray handed over a piece of paper. I couldn't see as my eyes were on the road.

"Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on!?", I said in anger.

"It's a copy of the last messages Hayley got. One of them says:  _"If you press 911 now, each one of them will die. Pretty boy will go down first. Then, that little bitch friend of yours. And I'll save the best for british boy"._  That's the order he was planning on killing us", Alaska said.

"And that is exactly why I should be the bait. Do you not get it?. If Sebastian does it, he will die first. If you do it, you will get tortured before he kills you. But if I do it... It will take him some time. He will most likely put me through hell before killing me. Ray has experience with the crossbow, which none of us do. He cannot be the bait. Sebastian, you can use a gun. It's like in the movies, only that these weapons are real. I have seen you, you have a strong, steady arm and good aiming. Alaska, you will be the one to call 911 in case anything goes wrong. We cannot lose you too", Tom stated.

We all wanted to protest, but none of us did. His plan made sense. Parker wanted him to die last because he knew it would hurt Hayley the most. This wasn't any longer about who she preferred. It was about who was willing to die for her, and even though we all were, Tom decided he was the one who would endure whatever Parker had planned for him. Even if that included being killed.

"We're getting close", Alaska said.

I felt my heart about to explode, and a cold shiver ran down my spine.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hayley's P.O.V**

I couldn't open my eyes entirely yet, but I could feel my body being dragged across the floor. The last thing I could remember was getting a slam to the back of my neck; then I passed out.

I was in and out of consciousness for quite some time. I couldn't tell if it had been 2 hours or 3 days. Eventually, I awoke, still feeling as if I had been drugged (which I probably was). That sickening scent could only belong to Parker.

I opened my eyes slowly. I was surprised I wasn't tied up, but, then again... Parker had threatened to kill everyone unless I did what I was told. It would be stupid of me to even try to run. I rejoined in bed and looked around.

"Well, hello there...", his voice made me jumpy.

"Parker...", I started.

"Shhh... Don't worry, Hayley. I'll take good care of you. We'll play a little game. You and me. Maybe your friends will decide to come too. We already have some guests. Why don't I show you?", he said as he grabbed my wrist, pulling me out of bed.

At first, I couldn't recognize where we were at, but as we walked down the stairs, the memories came back. 'This is where he raped me', I thought and couldn't help to cry.

"Awww, I see you remember. One never really forgets their first time", he said, smiling widely.

"You raped me!", I yelled at him, which only caused him to slap me hard.

"You had been asking for it. Just like you asked for all of this, Hayley. It's all on you", he replied.

He led me to a basement. There was nothing but two big refrigerators.

"You can open them. You'll find a nice surprise", he said. I wanted to ran away, but instead, I walked to the refrigerators. I was afraid of opening them. What if he had done something to Al? Or Seb? Or even Tom?.

"I said open them!!!", he yelled at me.

And I did. A loud scream came out of my lungs. My mom's dead body was in one of them.

"Now, the other", he commanded.

I found my dad's corpse and screamed once again.

"You know? Draining blood out of bodies can be really complicated...", he said as it was some sort of joke. Then I realized: the blood at my apartment. I would have thrown up if there had been anything in my stomach.

"Oh, Hayley, Hayley... You should have never left".

I was speechless. I knew our relationship had been complicated after Nik's death, but they were my parents and this psycho had murdered them. I couldn't say a word, even if I wanted to.

For the next days, Parker fed me, allowed me to take showers, and would let me sleep. All he forced me to do was call Alaska and tell her I was going to be okay, as it would all be over soon. I was waiting for him to just snap and stab me. But deep inside, I knew he had much worse plans for me.

The only thing keeping me alive was the idea that, as long as I stayed there, nobody else would be in danger. At night, memories would come to me.

The first time Tom took me to the beach and the way we would talk for hours about everything and anything.

Alaska's smile and how she had helped me every single time I was in need.

Sebastian's eyes, his soft touch, and how much fun we would have on our rides to the coast.

I hadn't given much thought to how I'd die, but dying in the place of someone you love seemed a good way to go.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

"Remember. If you hear a loud 'YES', as in a scream, that is your cue to go in", Tom said, looking at us.

"Tom...", Alaska sighed. She was carrying a gun, so was I and Ray was holding his crossbow.

"I will bring her back to you", he said and then looked at me. "Sebastian, whatever happens to me, promise you will take care of Hayley with your life".

"I promise...", I nodded.

Then, Tom got out of the SUV. We had parked somewhere amongst the trees, so we would be out of sight. It was hard to watch him leave, as we had no idea if he was ever coming back alive.

**Tom's P.O.V**

_'I swore I was going to keep her safe, and I will. Even if it is the last thing I do in my life'_.

I walked to the house. It seemed very old and not well kept.

I knocked on the door. Not too long after, a man, whom I assume was Parker, opened it.

"Oh well, well... Finally!", he said as if he had been expecting me. Or any of us at all. "Now, before you come in, Tom, I gotta make sure you're not armed. I would hate to find a gun or a knife. It wouldn't be fun, you know?".

"I am unarmed, but please, do check", I stated. I was not scared, all I wanted was to make sure Hayley was okay.

After checking I had nothing at all, Parker allowed me in.

"Hayley!", he said "We have a guest!".

I could hear footsteps on the wooden floor, as it crooked. And I finally saw her. She was not wounded, at least, not from what I could see. Her eyes looked at me in awe before she jumped into my arms.

"Tom!. God!!. What are you doing here???. He's going to kill you!!!", she said between sobs.

"I don't care. I needed to see you", I replied, grabbing her hands in mine.

"Awww, aren't you two a lovely couple?. Does he know you're dating Sebastian, though?", Parker said. Hayley looked at me with regret and pain in her eyes.

"I do. He is the better man", I stated, as I put Hayley behind me.

It was true. I knew it as soon as Alaska and Sebastian picked me up at the airport. He told me so. To be honest, when I heard about it, I didn't care. I wanted her safe and sound, regardless of who she wanted to be with.

"Ha!. I bet you still want to fuck her, though. All those sleepovers and not even one kiss?. Damn man, either you are too stupid or you were onto something".

"Unlike you, I would not nor will I ever force myself on a woman", I replied, closing my hands into fists.

"Well, Tommy boy... Never say never", he smiled and pulled a gun out of his back.

"Parker... Please, don't... Don't... Put the gun down. I'll do whatever you want me to, but put the gun down...", Hayley said in panic.

"You?. Whoever said anything about you?. It will be him who'll do as I say", he said as he pointed at me with the gun. "Now, you either please me or I'll blow her head off".

"Okay. I will do as you tell. Don't hurt her", I said, knowing nothing good was going to come out of this.

"Good boy, Tommy. Now... You'll take two of these", he smiled as he took his free hand in and out of his pocket. He extended it and I could see blue pills. Either it was poison or something that would certainly make me wanted it to be.

"What's that? Parker, please... What are you doing?", Hayley asked, horrified.

"Just a little something to get in the mood", he smiled. That evil grin of his made me wanted to shoot him between the eyes, but I had no gun and any move could and would put Hayley in danger.

I took the pills and swallowed them.

"Now, let's go upstairs. You, Hayley, will change those clothes. And you, Tommy boy, will wait in the bathroom".

He locked me up in the bathroom before I could even say a word. I could hear Hayley screaming. My body started to feel weird, I felt this need, and it was only then I realized what those pills were.

"Ok, come on. You don't want to keep her waiting, do you?", Parker asked once he unlocked me.

"What have you done to me?", I asked.

He was still holding the gun. He looked at it and said "I just gave you a little incentive...".

He pushed me into a different room from the one he had taken Hayley to, but she was there now. There was an old mattress on the floor, and Hayley looked as if she had been slapped repeatedly. There was a chain around her neck, holding her to the ground.

"Parker, don't... Please, don't...", she cried.

"Shut up or I'll kill him", he replied. "Now, lovebirds... you shall consummate your love. In other words: Tom you will fuck her. Hard. Rough. Even if she screams. Just the way Hayley likes. And if either of you refuses, the other one will die, so... let's get this party started".

Now it was me who was crying silently. I couldn't do this.

My body could and wanted to, but my mind was horrified by the idea of what Parker wanted me to do. He wanted Hayley to relive what he had done to her, only that this time, it would be me who would have to hurt her.

I caressed her cheek.

"I am sorry", I whispered.

"I know. This isn't your fault...".

"Close your eyes. I swear I will try to make this as quick and painless as I can...", I said low enough so only she could her me.

"Enough with the talk. Get to it before I lose my good mood", Parker said and an old recording of my voice started playing on the background. "I thought you would enjoy this...", he said, smiling.

_"I will be the first man to kiss you, to bed you, whether you come willingly or not. You will be mine and mine alone, do you understand?"_

That damned thing was on repeat.

I closed my eyes the entire time, I could not bring myself to see her face and I did not want her to see mine. My body did what it had to do, I tried to be gentle but I knew she was in pain. What should have been an amazing and beautiful experience, became a nightmare. This was not how this should have happened. Not against her will, not with my body working on pills. And what should have felt like ecstasy, felt like hell.

"Good enough, though I was expecting you to be rougher on her. Oh well, we can try again soon enough. I'll give you a break", Parker said. He seemed rather disappointed.

"I am not doing this again. Ever!", I exclaimed.

"Yes you are, Tommy boy. Or I'll make sure that the chain in her neck chokes her to death", he replied.

I looked at Hayley. She still had her eyes closed and was shaking. I was horrified, but then I had an idea. One I prayed for to work.

Parker sat down on a sofa and grabbed a bottle of whiskey that was on the floor.

"I'd totally offer you a glass but it would bring your boner down...", he said as he pointed to my body with the gun still on his hand. "Ok, everybody, ready for round two?".

"Yes...", I replied, clenching my teeth. I turned my face to Hayley, who was looking at me in complete horror. I winked an eye at her, trying to make her see I had a plan.

I grabbed her wrists, trying to make it look as if I was being rough on her. Then I whispered into her ear: "I will yell at you. When you hear the word 'YES', I will need you to scream with all the strength in you. All of it. Think of something, anything to trigger that scream, okay?. I will try to be gentle, but I cannot guarantee it will be easy on you, and for that I am sorry. But I need you to do this with me".

"What's with the chit chat?", Parker said, annoyed.

"I was telling her how hard I will fuck her. Just the way she likes it...", I replied, emotionless on the outside and burning with anger on the inside.

"Then prove it, Tommy boy", he said.

This was by far the most awful thing I had ever had to do, but it was the only way to get help. I tried to be kind and gentle. I wanted to keep my eyes closed, but if we were trying to fool Parker, he was not going to buy it unless I did it right. I looked at Hayley, whose eyes were open. I could see she was in pain and scared to death, but I also saw hope in her look.

I could feel my body, acting on its own, slamming itself hard and roughly against Hayley's. She would cry a bit every now and then. My body was almost done and I started yelling all kind of disgusting things, only to end the last sentence with a loud 'YES'. Hayley, then, screamed so loudly that it stunned me.

I prayed for the guys to come in quickly.

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

It had been about two hours since Tom had left. We were out of the van and hidden behind some trees, quite close to the house. We had decided that Ray would come in only if we didn't make it back for at least three hours after our cue. He insisted it was a stupid plan, but it was two against one, so he had no other option than to finally accept.

"YES!!". We heard in the not so long distance.  _'That's Tom'._  And right after a scream so loud that I was amazed it hadn't cracked down the glasses from the windows.  _'That's Hayley!!!'._

Before any of us could blink, we were already running to the house. It only took us a couple of minutes to break in, only to find a horrible scene.

Tom was passed out on the floor, with his head and eye injured.

And as for Hayley, she had a chain around her neck and a gun pointing at her head.

"Now we are finally complete", a man (Parker, I assumed) said with a twisted smile.

"Drop your weapons or your dear Hayley dies".

We did as instructed. Parker slapped Hayley hard enough to knock her out. Afterwards, he grabbed an old broom stick and broke it in two. I hid Alaska behind me, which only caused me to receive one a hell of a blow to my head. I fell down and as much as I tried no to close my eyes, I couldn't help it.

The last thing I saw, was Alaska being pierced on her stomach by the stick.

Then it all went dark.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hayley's P.O.V**

I awoke pretty fast after being slapped by Parker, but I had no intention on running away after opening my eyes. I started crying. Alaska's body was laying on the ground.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!", I snapped at him. I stood up and started punching Parker's chest with my fists.

"Knock it off, Hayley!. She knew what she had coming the minute she took you out of this city!. What!? You thought I wouldn't eventually find out?. I only had to put two and two together."

"You said you wouldn't kill anyone if I did as you told me!", I yelled.

"Well, I guess we were not counting with your dead friend and pretty boy coming into my house while pointing guns at me", he said and pointed across the living room. Sebastian and Tom were both tied up and awake.

"Let them go!. It's me who you want dead, not them. ME!. It's always been about YOU and ME!. LET THEM GO!", I yelled again.

"Nope. Not until we've played our game. Then, we'll see...".

"Game? What game!?".

"We'll start with a nice and smooth round of 'Truth or Dare'...", he said as he grabbed my wrist and forced me to sit down against the wall, near the only two people left in my life.

"Please, Parker... I'm begging you... Let them go...", I said one last time.

"You better shut up unless you want this to be 'Truth or Death'. You know? Now that I think about it, that sounds much more appealing", he said with a twisted grin.

He took out the tape of Tom's and Sebastian's mouths. I had seen when Parker knocked off Tom with the back of his gun after Tom said 'YES' and I screamed, but the bruises were even worse right now.

Sebastian, on his side, had some cuts on his face and blood on his head. That must have happened when I was off.

"Ok, buddies... Shall we?", Parker said. Sebastian groaned in response and got slapped. "It was a rhetorical question, you idiot".

Tom nodded in silence.

"Good, Tommy boy. I have only one rule: if I know you are lying, someone will die. Now, tiny mini... how was it? Anyway, any volunteers?", Parker asked.

"I volunteer", I said. I needed to get them out of the house and if this was the price, I was willing to pay for it.

"A brave little bitch, don't you just love that, guys?", he replied. "Ok, truth or death?".

"Truth...", I mumbled.

"Who did you fall for first?".

"Tom", I said in a whisper.

"Fair enough. Now, Tom, did she ever tell you about me?".

"No", he shook his head.

"Then who did?".

"Alaska", he said.

"Really? Only her?", Parker had the gun against my temple. I mouthed 'Lie'. I was terrified of what Parker would do. I was pretty sure it hadn't been just Alaska. He wanted me to suffer more than them, so he was going to try and put them against each other.

"Yes. It was only her...".

"Fair enough..." Parker replied and I could feel him stepping back. "Sebastian, how did you find out?. Did Alaska tell you as well?".

"Yes".

"Really?", Parker was now aiming at Tom's head.

"Yes. Tom and I were told with few weeks of difference".

"I see... Well, dead girl had a big mouth", Parker chuckled.

"Stop calling her that!!", I yelled.

"Hayley, my gun is on your beloved Tom's head. Do you really want me to pull the trigger?".

I shook my head.

"Good, then shut up unless you are spoken to".

I nodded. Needless to say, I was horrified.

"You know? I'm getting bored. Let's add some spice into this... Hayley, truth, death or dare?".

"Dare...", I said and swallowed. The easier I gave Parker what he wanted, the sooner he would let them go.

"I dare you to confess how much you enjoyed being fucked by Tom just before dead girl and Sebby here arrived".

Tears were running down my face. I had to say it. "I enjoyed... being fucked hard by Tom...". I could see Sebastian's eyes and his heart being broken. I wanted to tell him it hadn't been the way he probably thought.

"Tom, your choice now", Parker smiled.

"Dare", his voice was raspy.

"I dare you to tell both Sebastian and Hayley how much  **you**  enjoyed it".

"I enjoyed raping Hayley...", Tom hissed. Now the gun was, once again on my temple.

"You raped her!?!?!",Sebastian snapped.

"Now things are getting interesting...", Parker laughed.

"I did not have a choice... It was either that or he would have killed her".

"Yeah... I had to encourage Tommy boy a little", Parker said and showed the remaining blue pills he had taken out of his pocket.

"You son of a ....", Sebastian said and I wasn't sure who was he talking to.

"Enough with the drama. Maybe you two should date, for a change", Parker commented. "Sebastian, truth, death or dare?".

"Dare".

"I dare you to admit how much you hate Tom for having the chance to fuck Hayley before you did".

"Tom... I hate that you got to fuck Hayley before I had the chance", he said with his jaw clenching.

"Who knows? Maybe you'll have a chance too, Sebby. Okay, final round now, because I'm honestly feeling tired of all your drama. Hayley, stand up".

I did as he said.

"Now, death or life?. One of them lives, the other one... well, he'll join Alaska. So, decide. Who gets to live?".

"Both of them", I stated as clear as I could.

"No, no, no. That's not how it works...".

"It is. You have wanted to kill me ever since I left. Now is your chance. Let them go, they won't say a word about it to anyone and you will get exactly what you want: my death".

"Maybe I should kill them both and let you live with it. You have killed your parents, your best friend and the two men you claim to love. You destroy everyone around you. Always have and always will", he said.

Suddenly, the door got opened by a hard kick and I turned my head to it. _'Ray?. What the hell is he doing with a crossbow!?'_

"I don't think so...", he said and before I could blink he shot an arrow at Parker's stomach.

Then he made a second shot, at Parker's neck, right where the carotid artery is. Parker fell to the ground immediately but before falling, he managed to somehow pull the trigger.

I heard it first and felt it right after.

**Tom's P.O.V**

"HAYLEY!!!", I screamed. Ray was trying to untie Sebastian. I crawled to her, not caring if my hands were still tied up. By the time Ray got to me, Hayley had lost a lot of blood; Sebastian was calling 911.

"Hayley, please, do not close your eyes", I begged in tears, as I pressed her wound with my shirt.

"I'll be okay. You... you are all safe now... I'm s-sorry", she stuttered, looking at me. Sebastian came and leaned on the ground, holding her hand.

"We need you, Hays. Please, don't give up. I've told you: you are brave. Be brave one last time and hold on. There is help on the way", he said.

"Hayley, you have to do this...", I asked.

"I'm ok now... I'll s-see Nik...", she replied with a sad smile.

"NO!. You have to live. You have to do this", I insisted.

"Tom...", she whispered but I cut her off.

"No! I get it, okay? I get it! You will be okay, you will be fine, but what about me?! Don't do it for yourself, do it for me! Please? Please, Hayley! Please do this for me! Because if you die... Oh, God! You have to do this! You have to do this for me, or I will never be able to forgive you!", I said in panic.

"For dying?", she asked, weakly.

"No! For making me love you! Please? Please, do this for me. Stay alive for me... and if you won't do it for me, do it for Sebastian", I begged.

"Okay...", she said.

Right after, the ambulance and the police arrived.

"It's over now...", I whispered into Hayley's earbefore they took her to the Hospital.


	21. Chapter 21

**Tom's P.O.V**

We were all taken to the Hospital. Once in there, the Police questioned us. We all told the same story. The whole truth, except for the parts where Alaska took photographs of a crime scene and where Ray had two guns (that he threw into the pond while Sebastian was calling 911). The Police said they found an amount of four dead bodies: Alaska's, Parker's and two more. A male and a female. They showed us the pictures; by the resemblance, we could tell those bodies were Hayley's parents.

Hayley was having surgery and that was the only thought in our minds. Time seemed to go slower by the second. Finally, a doctor came out of the O.R and into the waiting room.

"How is she?", I asked, terrified.

"She lost a considerable amount of blood, but the bullet didn't get to any of her vital organs. She will recover, at least, physically. The emotional torture she endured will be a lot harder to heal. She will need to stay in the I.C.U and then, she will be moved to the psychiatric ward to receive proper treatment".

"When will we be able to see her?", Sebastian wondered.

"The first 24 hours after every surgery are the most critical ones, but there is a chance you can see her by tomorrow".

"Thank you", we said in unison.

We sat down and looked at the clock. It was New Year and we were at a Hospital, where the woman we loved was healing after being shot and tortured.

"She'll need you, Tom...", Sebastian sighed. I looked at him. While we were waiting for the doctor, I had the chance to explain him what Parker had forced me to do. I also told him I felt disgusted by myself.

"After what I had to do, I don't think she will want me anywhere near her", I said, sadly.

"She knew you had no choice. You wouldn't have hurt her. She knows that now..."

"But, what about you?. She chose you, Sebastian. And I know you love her".

"She may love me, but I can't give her the kind of love she truly wants. Only you can. Don't you get it?. It's you. It was always you. Even if none of this had happened, it would always be you. She is in love with you in a way that she'll never feel about me, and so are you. You could have gotten yourself killed the moment you set foot in that house, but you did it anyway. You love her, and she'll need you more than she'll need us".

"And I will need your help. I have no idea what to do...", I sighed.

"We'll figure it out. Together".

**Hayley's P.O.V**

I awoke to the sound of a machine beeping. I opened my eyes slowly. I was at a Hospital. 

I turned my head slowly, to find Tom sleeping on a chair by my side.

"Tom?", I asked in a really weak voice.

He woke up, shaken and jumpy.

"Hayley, how do you feel?".

"Not too good. It hurts...", I replied.

"Do you want me to call the nurse?", he asked.

"No... I'm sorry, Tom", I whispered.

"No. I am sorry for putting you through a torment", he sighed.

"It wasn't your choice or your fault", I said and caressed his cheek. "Tom, were you serious?. Back at the house, when you asked me not to die. You said I made you love me. Were you serious?".

"Of course I was serious. I have loved you since the day we watched the sunset at the park. I was unsure of what those feelings were, but the moment you called me and said you wanted me to know the truth, that was when I finally knew it", he said as he held my hand.

"I'm sorry Tom... I just... I was ashamed of myself. It took a lot of courage to come clean to anyone at all", when I said this, I couldn't help to think of Alaska and tears started running down my face.

"Darling, what is it?", he said, looking at me.

"She's dead. Alaska is dead... because of me. My parents died... because of me. Oh God!", I couldn't stop crying and what had started with some tears, ended up as a panic attack.

Tom had to call one of the nurses and I got sedated. By the time I awoke, Sebastian was in the room with me. He had cut his hair and he still had some cuts on his face.

"Hey beautiful...", he said softly.

"Hi...", I replied, still feeling a bit weak.

"How are you feeling?".

"Physically, not to so bad. Mentally, I feel I've been drugged".

"Well, you were sedated. You've been asleep for almost two days and a half...", he explained.

"I just wanna go home...".

His face went a bit pale.

"What is it?", I asked.

"The doctors think it'll be better for you to stay here for a little longer", he started. I knew there was more to it.

"They want me to stay in the psych ward, don't they?", I asked, knowing what the answer was going to be.

He simply nodded, as he looked to the floor.

"Have they... have they made a funeral for Alaska?", I asked.

"Not yet. And... God, I shouldn't be telling you this...", he sighed.

"Telling me what?", I wondered.

"They need your signature in order to arrange a funeral for your parents... Tom is trying to get that fixed. They won't let him do much, since you are not related to him", he said with a sad voice.

"I'll do it... Seb? I need your help. You need to help me... I need to say 'Goodbye' to them, but more than anything... I want and need to say 'Goodbye' to my best friend. Please, please Seb. Help me. Please?", I started to beg.

"I will, but how? You're not planning on escaping from this place, are you!?", he asked in panic.

"No, Seb. I was recently gun shot, so no. But, I need you to help me to see the doctor who is in charge of my case. I'll ask him for permission to go to both funerals and once they are over, I'll be back", I explained.

"And where do I come in that plan of yours?".

"You'll have to assure him that you'll bring me back. You'll be responsible for me. At least, that's what you'll say. You don't have to... Maybe... I just need to say 'Goodbye'...", I mumbled.

"Ok, we'll do it", he nodded.

After begging, and appealing to the Doctor's humanity, he allowed me to be out for a day.

I decided not to hold a funeral for my parents. I just... I couldn't do it. It reminded me of Nik's funeral and it was way too painful. Besides, I didn't want anyone to be lurking in a chapel, just to take a look at the 'dead parents of the crazy girl who got almost everyone she loved killed'.

"Darling, are you sure about this?", Tom asked as I signed some papers.

"Yes. I can't go through it... I just... I can't. They'll be buried next to Nik. I'll visit them once I'm strong enough to do so", I said. He nodded at me.

Sebastian and Tom helped me to make my way into the chapel where Alaska's funeral was taking place. I could see her parents and I felt I was going to suffer from yet another panic attack, but I needed to apologize. None of it would have happened if it wasn't for me.

"Mr. and Mrs. Taylor... I'm... I'm so sorry... This... This was on me... It was my fault... Your little girl is gone and it was... it was because of me...", I stuttered as tears ran down my face.

"She wasn't our only little girl. You have been part of this family as well, Hayley. And you will always be. Alaska thought the world of you. You were a sister to her and she did what any sister would have done for a sibling. You would have done the same for her. You were willing to die to keep her and everyone else safe. It was not your fault. None of it, ok?. You can always come to us. You're our little girl too, Hayley...", Mrs Taylor said, which only made me cry even harder. 

Mr Taylor hugged me, trying to be gentle, before saying "You've always been strong, kiddo. Just don't give up now".

I nodded. The ceremony was quite beautiful, and I was the last one to leave. I asked Tom and Sebastian to leave me alone for a moment. I wanted to see her one last time. I came close to the casket. She looked beautiful and at peace.

"Al...", I sighed "You saved my life, and I'll never be able to pay you back for that. I love you, bestie. You were, by far, the most amazing person I ever had the chance to meet....". My voice cracked. I placed our old 'friendship bracelets' on her hands. We had made them back in high school.

It was time to go back to the Hospital.

"You'll be okay, Hays...", Sebastian said. 

I nodded, but I wasn't sure about it anymore.


	22. Chapter 22

**Sebastian's P.O.V**

**\---- 4 Months Later----**

PTSD is one hell of a bitch. Within time, all that had happened sank into our heads.

Ray, was by far, the strongest one, even though he had been the one who had killed Parker. He was in control of his emotions most of the time. However, Alaska's death had been harder on him than what Tom or I would have thought. He had been in love with her for a long time but never got the chance to tell her so. 

He would visit her grave once a week. It was the only way to cope with it, as he had said. He would often dream about her and that seemed so ease his pain.

I was having a hard time mostly at nights. I couldn't sleep much and whenever I did, I would have nightmares about Hayley's apartment and her being taken away again by Parker.

I knew it wasn't going to happen, but I couldn't help to wake up sweating and gasping. I would break down and cry every now and then. Therapy helped me a lot, in all honesty, but I needed to let the pain out from time to time.

Tom was unwell. He would go to therapy as well, but it wasn't working out as expected. He would shower three times per day, as he felt disgusted by his own body. He visited Hayley every day, and somehow, he would always make it seem as if he was doing fine. 

Tom is terrible liar, but a good actor, so that's how he probably managed to do it. He would put up a smile and try to cheer her up.

I would see Hayley often and every time, it would break my heart. She had been transferred to a mental institution back in New York. Her eyes looked void and her face was emotionless most of the time. Some days, she wouldn't even talk to any of us. 

Other days, she would ask us to leave her alone. Her psychiatrist said it would take a lot of time for her to heal, and that she wasn't having it easy at all.

"I have demons inside me... You should get away. You and Tom. I'm not strong enough to beat them, Sebastian. Not anymore", she said, on one occasion.

"Please, Hays... You need to fight back. You can't let them win", I replied.

She didn't reply.

On my way back home, all I could think of was 'Just one more miracle. That's all I'm asking. One more miracle: please, don't let Hayley fall into darkness', praying to whoever was out there.

**Hayley's P.O.V**

I was hardly ever in control of my emotions. Even with the meds, I would have nightmares. Night terrors or day terrors, as they happened at any given time. 

I wanted to get out of there but I was terrified that if I did, the horror show would start again.

Tom and Sebastian would visit me, and I wish I could say I was happy to see them, but I could tell, by the look on their eyes, they were battling their own nightmares.

I wasn't doing much of a progress. Even the smallest things would trigger anxiety episodes in my head. I would hear noises while I was having a shower and that was enough to make me scream and cry.

Mrs. Taylor came by one day. She noticed how much of a mess I was. I didn't talk to her. I would often go mute. I didn't know what to say.

"Hayley, sweetheart, everyone knows how much pain you are holding inside your heart. But you need to let go of it. You are still so young... There's much more life than this. I can guarantee, if you allow yourself to see it, you'll understand that nobody will ever hurt you again. You are a fighter...", she said.

Before leaving, she left a picture she had taken of Al and me and whispered "She would have wanted you to fight and get back on your feet...".

As soon as I looked at the picture, I realized Mrs. Taylor was right.

There had to be more than this.


	23. Chapter 23

**Tom's P.O.V**

**\----6 Months Later----**

"You will love London, darling", I assured Hayley as we were waiting for the plane to land.

"I'm sure I will", she replied with a soft smile.

It had been almost a year since the events. Hayley had been in a mental institution. At first, she would not cooperate. I mean, she would take her medication but other than that, she would be a void soul, so different from the girl I had seen laughing and dancing along with me. But something happened. I have no idea how or why, she started to put effort into her recovery. The doctors were amazed by the sudden change. We all were, if I may be honest. Soon enough, she was discharged from the institution. However, we had been warned she would have good days and bad days as well.

The first thing she did was get in touch with her parents' lawyer. She had inherited their house, but had no intention of going to Toronto, unless it was to pay a visit to their graves (and Alaska's). The house was sold at a big prize. As for her own apartment, she wanted to sell it as well, but to do so, she needed to get all her belongings out of there. Sebastian and I insisted on doing it ourselves, so she would not have to see that place.

"I need to face this on my own. I'll gladly accept your help carrying the boxes, but I need to go in there by myself. I can't run away from what happened. I'm tired of trying to escape. No more running away. No more avoiding it", she had stated and we respected her wishes.

I admired the strength in her. She started packing her possessions and did not shed a single tear. I believe she was, actually, relieved. She stayed at Alaska's old apartment (whose parents had insisted on keeping) for a few weeks.

I was doing much better myself, but I was still afraid of touching her. I would hug her and maybe kiss her temple, but I would not allow myself to go any further than that. I wanted to do things the right way.

"I never said it back...", she said out of the blue one evening, while we were at the beach.

"You did not say what back?", I asked. I did not understand what she was talking about.

"When I got shot and you were holding me. You said you loved me and I didn't say it back...", she sighed and looked at me.

"Hayley, you were in shock. I, myself, was in shock as well...", I replied.

"But I do. I do love you, Tom. I love you", her soft voice made me freeze. I looked at her, not knowing if it was the right time to do what my heart was telling me to.

She seemed to have read my mind, as she grabbed my neck and pulled me into the sweetest, softest and most perfect kiss I ever experienced in my life.

"I love you", she whispered.

"And I love you, Hayley", I replied. "Come home with me".

"But it's still early, we haven't seen the sunset yet!", she pouted.

"That is not what I meant. I want you to come to London and live with me".

"I... Tom...", she looked surprised that I had even said that.

"If you are not ready, I understand it. But I want to give you a home, happiness and all the love you were deprived of. Because I love you. Because you deserve it more than anyone. Because I do not want to be apart from you, ever again".

"Okay...", she nodded and I could see her teary eyes.

"Are you sure?", I asked.

"Yes. Yes. I wanna go home with you", she replied.

I kissed her again and held her tight against my chest.

**Hayley's P.O.V**

London was, indeed, beautiful. Tom's house was huge but more than anything, it was warm. Like him. I felt at peace.

I would have bad days, but they decreased as time went by. It took me around 2 months to get used to live in London, but I was free and comfortable.

Tom had been very respectful of me during that entire time. He wouldn't sleep in the same room with me, although we would cuddle every now and then. His touch felt so right, I could feel desire and lust growing in me every day. Time had come. I didn't want to wait any longer. I was ready.

We decided to go out for dinner. Tom was mesmerizing in a blue suit, and I went for a golden dress. 

I was feeling beautiful, for the first time in years. We enjoyed a nice meal and had some red wine at a fancy restaurant.

Once back home, we went upstairs. He was holding my hand and when he was about to leave, I pulled him closer.

"I want you to sleep with me tonight, Tom", I said.

"Are you sure, darling?", he asked in concern.

"I am", I nodded.

We walked into the room together.

"I should probably leave for a bit until you are in your pajamas", he smiled softly.

"No", I shook my head and gave him a serious look.

"No?", he wondered. I came closer to him, only inches separating our bodies.

"No. You are undressing me tonight and making love to me, as long as you want to", I replied. I knew he had felt unwell for quite some time after Parker's torture and that's why he would hardly ever touch me before we moved in together.

"Of course I want to, Hayley. What I do not want is you to feel obligated to do this".

"I don't. What I feel is love and desire. I want to be yours and for you to be mine. I want us to become one. I want to feel ecstasy in my heart. I am ready, Tom. I  _ **want you**_ ", I said, remarking my last words.

He kissed me. Softly at first and a bit rough after. I could feel his soft fingers unzipping my dress as I slowly took his shirt off. Before I could notice, we were in our underwear. He laid me smoothly on the bed. Feeling his skin against mine, his body on top of me... was glorious. He got rid of my lingerie and I took his boxers out. He had the most perfectly sculpted body I had ever seen.

"I love you...", he whispered before I felt him going slenderly into me.

He was so caring and gentle, I could feel my body burning with desire. It was a kind of feeling I had never felt before, and it was so good than only then I realized this was the way it should have been. This is how it should always feel. In my head, this was my first time. My first time done right, sweetly and properly. With my consent, and lust growing by the second in my body.

Then I knew why people said making love felt as if your heart was about to explode like a million fireworks. That's exactly what I felt when I reached the highest point of desire. Tom followed me right after.

"I love you. Thank you...", I said quietly, as we cuddled.

"What are you thanking me for, darling?".

"For being my first in the proper way, for waiting. For loving every inch of my body", I replied.

"Thank you for granting me that honor", he smiled softly at me.

And that night I slept safer than ever before.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hayley's P.O.V**

Tom had made some calls and I was now working at Cambridge. Everything was well. I was doing what I loved, I had the man of my dreams by my side and I was finally letting go of the pain. I was feeling great.

Or at least I thought I was... I was coming out of work one afternoon and I felt the urge to throw up. It went away as quickly as it had come. 

Only a few days after, I was getting ready to go out and out of the blue I started crying. I hadn't been taking my meds, since I was doing much better. But I started to get worried.

One morning, after going for a walk, I came home to find Tom, putting some daisies in a vase.

"Tom... We need to talk", I said. I wanted to tell him that I hadn't been feeling great lately.

"Darling, what is wrong?", he asked.

"I... I'm not...". I couldn't finish the sentence; I felt my body covered in cold sweat, and blood pumping to my ears.

Next thing I knew, I was at the Hospital.

"What happened?", I asked as I rejoined in bed.

"Darling!. You had me worried. You were about to say something and then, you just fainted. Hayley, have you been feeling well?. The doctors have taken blood samples, but I want you to be honest with me, is everything ok?".

"I've been feeling strange, lately", I admitted. "I feel weird, my body won't tolerate much food and I feel the need to cry pretty much the whole time. I didn't want you to worry, that's why I didn't say anything. I was about to but... well, here I am".

"Hayley...", he sighed.

A female doctor came into the room.

"Miss Kenner?", she asked.

"That's me...", I said, still feeling weak.

"Is she okay, doctor?", Tom asked as he squeezed my hand.

"She is more than okay. A bit weak, but other than that, she will be okay. It is pretty common during the first couple of weeks and even during the first three months...", she said smiling. I had no freaking clue of what she was talking about. I looked at Tom and we both looked back at the doctor in deep confusion.

"Oh dear! I thought you were aware of your... condition. You are with child, Ms. Kenner. 9 weeks to be precise. Congratulations. I will give you two some privacy", she said.

_'Pregnant. I'm pregnant!?'_

I looked at Tom, my eyes were about to pop out of their cavities, but his... were teary. He looked at me and wiped a small tear from his cheek, as a wide smile took place on his face.

"We are with child, Hayley...", he said.

"I... we're having a baby", I replied and the words hit me. I was going to be a mom. We both laughed and cried. None of us were expecting it to happen but who cared?. 

I had life growing inside of me and I was going to take care of it with everything I had.

**\----7 Months Later----**

The bump grew and so did our love. I was quite huge, in all honesty. We didn't want to know the baby's gender. Well, Tom did. I wanted it to be a surprise. So, we decided to have the nursery painted in neutral colors.

One night, I was laying down in bed and I touched my belly with just one finger and then I got a huge kick back at me. I could see a tiny little foot. I giggled and showed Tom.

"That certainly is one hell of a kick!. Maybe there is a little rugby player in there...", he said, staring at the bump in awe.

"Or maybe there is a warrior queen...", I stated.

"She would technically be a princess. You are the only queen. MY only queen", he looked at me and kissed the belly.

Then I felt a strange pain.

"Ouch...", I wined.

"Baby, stop kicking mommy...", Tom said cheerfully.

"Tom, that wasn't a kick...", I said, gasping. My due date was near. Then, the same pain, only a bit stronger this time. Something wasn't right.

"Hayley... The bed is wet, did you...?".

"I think my water just broke", I mumbled.

In a blink, Tom was already taking my things to the car and carrying me, bridal style ('This man! How on Earth can he carry me when I'm this huge!?).

"We will be there soon, I promise. You breathe, just like we practiced", he said as he drove. Usually, Tom was a quiet driver, but now he seemed as if he was in the middle of a 'Fast & Furious' movie.

I tried to breath as I had been instructed to. Tom insisted on taking every pre-natal class there was in the city with me. So, we went from yoga for pregnant women to pre-labor lessons. The pain was so strong I could barely remember any of what I had been taught.

"Ok, Hayley, I will need you to push on my count", the Dr said.

"Squeeze my hand and breathe, darling, okay?", Tom said. I think he was even more terrified than me.

"Okay...", I nodded.

"Let's go. One, two, three... PUSH!".

And I did. One, two, three times. It was by far, the hardest thing I had ever done, but it was all worth it the second I heard a loud cry.

"Congratulations. You have a healthy baby girl", the Dr announced as she gave me my child. She was so tiny and beautiful, I couldn't stop crying.

**Tom's P.O.V**

"She is perfect. Just like her mother", I said as I looked at my daughter, whom I was now holding.

"What do you think?", Hayley asked. We had thought of a few names and we both knew just the right ones for our little girl.

"I think Alaska Nicole Hiddleston sounds pretty marvelous", I replied. We had decided to honor Alaska and Niklaus, as we knew they would have loved this baby just as much as we did.

"I love you...", Hayley whispered.

"And I love you. Both of you. I know this is not the most romantic moment ever, but I feel it is the right one. Hayley, with our daughter's blessing, will you marry me?", I asked. I had waited too long to ask her to be my wife.

"Yes!!!!", she squealed.

In that moment, I realized my life had never been more beautiful or complete.


	25. Chapter 25

**3rd Person P.O.V**

Shortly after Alaska Nicole's birth, Tom proposed to Hayley with a beautiful ring. He said it was only fair if he did it like that. Hayley couldn't care less about the ring.

She had insisted on having a small, simple ceremony and Tom simply agreed. As long as their daughter was with them, the rest of the world didn't even matter.

Ali (as they had decided to call her) grew up into a beautiful baby. She had Hayley's laughter, and a mix of Tom's and her mother's eyes. She was a happy child, who would laugh and smile all the time.

They all got what they wanted and needed.

Tom, found true love. The kind of love that happens once in a lifetime and it came along with a family of his own, which he had always wanted to have.

Hayley, found safety, self-redemption, peace and love. All of those things that she had thought she wasn't worthy of.

She followed my advice, after all. As I would say  _'You only get this one life. Live it to the fullest'._  And now she was.

We would always be together. Maybe not in the same world, but I would look after my little sis.  _ **Always and Forever.**_

**\----THE END----**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: This last and short chapter is told by Niklaus' P.O.V, as some sort of angel who had seen it all and was now watching his sister being happy, as she had always deserved).


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